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[TF2] Weapon Stereotypes! Episode 2: The Scout


Whoa boy, Scout, huh? The- the crown prince of douchebaggery himself. This is gonna be a fun one. You know, it’s funny. One of the biggest complaints I had on the multi-class episode was that it didn’t feel as passionate as some of my previous videos, you guys wanted to see me get mad, you wanted to see… some salt, yeah? Well, I guess it’s a good thing that Scout is next then, right? So, as always, quick disclaimer, please keep in mind that a stereotype does not necessarily mean everyone, so, don’t get your hats in a bunch if you don’t like the stereotype for the weapon that you use a lot or whatever Okay? All right, let’s get started. WEAPON STEREOTYPES EPISODE 2: THE SCOUT SCATTERGUN You know, there are so many people who use this that there is no one stereotype that encompasses all stock scattergun scouts. What I can do though, is I can give you a general idea of who uses it. So first, you’ve got the fresh meat. These guys just installed the game, and they have no idea what they’re doing. They haven’t found any unlockables yet, so they’re stuck with stock. But then, once they get other primaries through achievements, the drop system, or whatever they’ll stop using it. Now, the other type of scout who uses stock is the one who realizes that it’s arguably the best primary for most situations, and you shouldn’t use an unlock just because you have it. I- if they understand this, you can assume that they’re at the very least competent. So, basically you’ve got the really bad players, and then you’ve got the, the mid to high-level players FORCE-A-NATURE (dramatic drums) (audible chewing) (what the hell is that guy doing?) (more dramatic drums) (wtf) (continued audible chewing) (more drums) HAHA- *two gunshots* (drums in reverse) These guys have a really weird habit of running up to you, missing their two shots, and then running backwards. Without… turning away, then they reload and wash, rinse, repeat. It doesn’t usually end well for them. SHORTSTOP You know, I had a hard time finding anybody who used this gun seriously after its rework where it added the shove mechanic. Before that, though, this was the primary weapon of choice for people who hated pyros. They would very often use it in conjunction with the mad milk, and the candy cane and the increased healing mechanic would help to offset any afterburn with a small health kit at the end to put out the fire. I mean, well nowadays people use it just to be bullies though. SODA POPPER Again, I rarely see this gun used after the rework. You used to be able to charge your hype meter just by running around so that you could have five mid-air jumps ready to go at any time, really. This made dealing with Soldiers really, super, easy. But now that you have to deal damage to charge it up, it’s kind of rare to see somebody using this who isn’t just going on a little nostalgia trip. But, since we need a joke of some kind, here’s a recreation of the legendary Birb Scout migration. (sad piano music) (nature is cruel) BABY FACE’S BLASTER Oh boy, I really had some choice words for this one back before it got nerfed. This gun used to be really really unfun to fight against since the Scout at full boost could actually OUTRUN his hitbox and it made him nearly impossible to hit reliably. The people who used it knew that, but since they were trash at actually being able to dodge normally, they just used that and let the game do it for them. But now, since all you have to do is breathe on them to make them lose all of their boost, it’s much easier to deal with. You know, come to think of it, this seems like a trend in Scout primaries. It used to be annoying to deal with, but then it got nerfed, or reworked and now nobody uses it, except for players who just unlocked it, and have no idea what it does or how it works. BACK SCATTER Actually, scratch that. This gun was always shit. It’s kind of a bummer too, since it seems like a really interesting idea for a weapon. It rewards Scouts for using their speed and mobility to flank. On paper, that sounds really cool, but in practice… Well… not so much. BONK! ATOMIC PUNCH Now, this right here is the classic case of “I unlocked it in an achievement, so that means it must be better than stock.” Syndrome. I’ve only ever seen this used effectively in a serious match once or twice. Then again, I almost never play serious matches so, that could have something to do with it. If you see a player who actually knows what they’re doing with this equipped, they are absolutely going for Sandman or Atomizer taunt kills. Now remember, if you see an enemy Scout about to taunt kill your fourth Gibus Sniper, I’m not saying don’t stop them, but the least you can do is let them finish. CRIT-A-COLA The Crit-A-Cola is a fairly popular alternative to the good ol’ trusty pistol in the secondary slot. And, if you use the Crit-A-Cola, there’s a good chance that you’re a piece of shit, sweaty tryharding, fun hating, unlock abusing, dog kicking, baby punching, Bambi’s mother killing, double parking, game of thrones spoiling, making plans and backing out at the last minute, lemon stealing, talking in the middle of Seinfeld, may-mayming shitposting little bastard. Unless you use it to go ham with your melee weapons, in which case, you’re a pretty fun guy. MAD MILK (AND MUTATED MILK) This guy just hates fighting Pyros. I mean, maybe he likes supporting his team? Sure, yeah. Maybe he’s too insecure to take damage so he has to have a pseudo Medic up his ass whenever he’s fighting someone. yeah, okay. But above all else, this guy just really, REALLY hates fighting Pyros. WINGER Okay, I actually really like the Winger. It’s an extremely useful utility that allows you to play with way more mobility than usual. And, when you consider my favorite thing to do in the game, you can probably guess that I really like added mobility. Now there are two types of people who use the winger. Those who just unlocked it and don’t know what they’re doing, and people who actually know how to use it. Now, people who know how to use it are actually kind of scary to play against, since they can drop outta nowhere at any time and just destroy you. That is, unless you’re me and you- you suck at aiming. PRETTY BOY’S POCKET PISTOL This weapon has been through the rework grinder so many times that, I honestly don’t even know what it does anymore. I know it used to be really good because it gave you like 15 extra health or something, but like what does it even do now? Give me a second… Huh, really? Wow, that sounds like shit. I guess that explains why nobody uses it anymore. With most of the weapons here that are so bad that nobody uses them, there are usually two types of people who use them. Again, the new player who doesn’t know what they’re doing, and the people who only use it because they have a strange one. Now this is especially true for the Pocket Pistol because a strange one costs like one reclaimed or something stupid like that. FLYING GUILLOTINE Hey, you! Yeah, yeah, you! Do you like being able to move? Do you think that stunning and slowing mechanics are the worst thing to happen to First-Person Shooters since insta-kills? Yeah? Well, fuck you you’re not going to have any fun at all when this guy’s in the game. But-but it’s okay. If it makes you feel any better, you’re going to end up in some random ass, over edited cleaver montage where the screen pulsates for no reason, and you feel like you’re getting motion sickness after like 10 seconds. Oh, that doesn’t make you feel any better at all? Huh. Well, fuck you anyway. BAT Okay, I feel like I can safely say that NOBODY who has played this game for more than a few hours actually uses the stock bat. Of course now that I say that people are going to actually start using it, so they can be a snarky asshole in the comments section. But, regardless if you see a Scout with the stock bat, you can assume that they are completely clueless, are smurfing, or have lost connection to the item server. HOLY MACKEREL Using the Holy Mackerel lets everybody know that you are not to be taken seriously. At all. I mean, for god’s sake, you’re running around in a server trying to beat people to death, with a FISH. And it just flops all around while you’re trying to swing it at people, it doesn’t seem very efficient. I mean, you can also use the thing in competitive as it’s just a reskin of the regular bat. But it’s far more fun to look at than just a metal bat, like why would you use that thing if you have a fish that just flops around in your hand all the time. Like, surely that’s a better option. UNARMED COMBAT So then I ripped off his own arm, and beat him to death with it. Wait a minute. That doesn’t seem physically possible. Yeah, that’s what he kept saying. WHAA THIS DOESNT SEEM PHYSICALLY POSSIBl- BATSABER Okay, this is expensive as shit, but it’s SO COOL. I mean, you actually get to run around and be Darth Vader. You j-j-j-ussst run around and- (vocal rendition of imperial march) (that has to be the fake one) (laughing in background) Fuck, dude. SANDMAN Think I’ve already said everything I need to about Sandman Cleaver Scouts in the Flying Guillotine segment, so now I guess we should cover the other type of Sandman user, the Achievement Sandman Scout. This guy just unlocked this weapon through the “Scout Milestone 2” achievement, and tries to use it constantly. However, he usually misses. And when he actually hits somebody he misjudges how long their stunned for, runs in, and gets demolished. As much as I hate stun mechanics, I don’t mind fighting these guys, ’cause it usually ends in me getting some pretty funny footage. ((((DED)))) Heavy Weapons Guy laughing at corpse CANDY CANE Once again, this guy really hates Pyros. I rarely see anybody use this, since the downside makes it so that you can be one-shot by rockets and pipes, which is huge. So, if you do see somebody using this you can know that They’re really, really committed to killing that one Pyro who keeps killing them with afterburn. BOSTON BASHER This guy is either a comp player, or totally clueless. You usually see the latter in pubs, because its primary use in competitive mode is helping your Medic build Übercharge, and, well we all know that Medics don’t exist in pubs, so… THREE-RUNE BLADE Now unlike the Boston Basher, the Three-Rune Blade does not drop via the item system, This means that anybody using this weapon had to intentionally get it with trading. Or, I guess a *Witcher 2 promo. This usually means that they are at least, semi competent? Usually? WRAP ASSASIN Discount Sandman. In all seriousness, I’ve never seen a competent player using this weapon seriously. Like, actually never. So, you know… take that as you will. FAN O’WAR This person is playing MvM or their memeing. One of the two. I know that’s really short, but there’s-there’s honestly not that much to this weapon. ATOMIZER These guys think that they’re being harder to hit because they have the third jump. But they-they feel obligated to use it all the time, meaning you can just predict that they’re going to triple jump. 90% of the time it’s like somebody air dodging after every lost neutral interaction and for glory and smash Bros It’s just like, it always happens SUN ON A STICK This is the best weapon in the game hands down. I don’t care what you say, you can’t convince me that there is any other weapon that is remotely as good as this one right here. You know what? Here, here. I’ll prove it (fart sfx) Okay, fine. It’s still funny as hell when you actually get kills with it though All right I think that’s all of them before you go and say that I forgot the pistol and it’s reskins go watch the multi-class episode you can find those there now as always please let me know if you have a suggestion for a stereotype for soldiers since I’m doing him next I’m really trying to increase my sample size for determining the stereotypes, so it’s less based on opinion And more based on a bunch of opinions other than that I think that’s it so yeah, thanks for watching y’all, I’ll see you next time. Outro Bye!!! bitch

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