*WHA-POOSH* TOP O’ THE MORNIN’ TO YA LADDIES! MY NAME IS JACKSEPTICEYE, and WELCOME BACK to Sniper Elite 4!! (yay) We’re movin’ on to the next level, the last one ı ABSOLUTEY.. DECIMATED! everybody in the whole area…*character talking:better see if ı can locate the partisan HQ* could’ja SHUT UP! ım trying to talk to my PEOPLE.. I dont CARE if you want to find the PARMESAN HQ! It’s all about killin’ people! ..right now OOOOoohhh there’s a dude ,up there! Are you peeing? *bush rustle* You better not be peeing!! okay.. Imma sneak over SHH!! shhhSSHHHHHHH!!! (okay geez Jack o_o) This is STEALTH! This is SECRETS! *character talks:wait a noise* you heard nothin’ you heard NOTHin’ YOU HEARD NOTHIN’! OOOH! oouuhhh- AHH fffFUCK YOU DUDE! OW ow OW ow OWW! AAOOWW Jesus Christ he punched me in the face! NEVER BRING FISTS TO A KNIFE FIGHT! Oh God, OH GOD Big Boat! Big Boat! OOOOH GOD Big boat.. Big boat!
*Okay Jack we get it, you like big boats!* AAAHMM… BOOM! :O OOOH the payoff is worth it! Thought you were goin’ to give me a serious case of Blue Balls there for a second good Lord! YEEEAH!!! Du-Who needs stealth? Who needs to sneak? I was tellin you guys to shut up but you’ve done a great service to me today. Uh oh. UH OH. AHH umm- m HAHA! 😛 Haha.. (laughs in between)LESSON NUMBER 7 Ah.. Snipers’ biggest weakness: Water. Dum dum dum dum… You gotta get REAL close.. you gotah rea- *sniff* Wha’s tha? *sniff* Ha *SNIFF* Is that Calvin Klein? *Jack imitating Santa?* oooh god… Right in his fuckin’ neck-hole! *chuckle* Well, At least we know youwon’tbe- you won’t be using your mouth to eat anymore That’s what I like to do I like to create service(?) entrances to make eating easier. Just a shortcut: why put stuff in your mouth and chew it when you just inject it straight down your neck? OOOOH there’s another sniper, is there? Oh, well, we will see. Who. Sniper. Will outsnipe, the Sniper? 😉 😉 😉 😉 It’s me. *Anti? :o* Oh yes, the game is on! The game is A FOOT! MR. HOLMES! OH Through his fucking SCOPE! YEAAAAAAH! Oh, that’s exactly what I wanted to do! That was AWESOME!! OOOOOH PERFECT! Ni-h-h-hice! It was like the perfect sniper shot that everybody wanted to see, We call that ‘The Saving-Private-Ryne(?)’ HELLO, SIR! DO YOU HAVE A MOMENT TO TALK ABOUT OUR HEARING AIDS? DHEY’RE VERY GOOD, THEY PENETRATE YOUR HEAD! nnnnmmmLllllllllllllllllloveLY Juvly! Who wants to have brains for dinner? Me do! Me do, it’s me Jack! Oh god.. m’all fokin’ giddy! This is so much fun! *character speaks*: We’re there’s a church, is probably a graveyard. great deduction skills, and where THERE’S SMOKE, there’s FIRE! LESSON NUMBER 12… of being a sniper: Scan your area, scan super fast like superman would *INSERT SANIC* make yourself super dizzy, and then you’ll get all the-deuh… *vomits* I’m fine…….. I’m fine….. Just- Just give me a minute! 🤢 ‘Scuse me sir, how fond of you are your testicles? Not very. OKAY! *laughs* Let’s take em’ both! Eeuoooh! The GREAT testicle Bandito of The West has struck again! AWAY wit’ cha! Off we go! You have to be like the meerkat, you gotta, like, pop up and down. Pop up and down, to get your.. get your enemies. *BOO!* *honk noise* *hides again* Tha-that’s more like a goose… but, little do people know.. MEERKATS sound like GEESE! Everyone thinks meerkats are super cute but when you hear them its like, *honk* *Honk* 😛 *wipes sweat* True story. Science- science facts with Jack. 👍 Science sniper facts wit-… ON we go! oohhhhhh…no, no you don’t see me. SHUT UP! he-Hello?! huehe.. He’s like: “Who’s dat?” “Who’s that over ther’? Is’tha Jimmy’s boi? “STEVEN. Is that chew?!” He’s like, “no!” “…” “Wrong person!” But, ee.. seriously though could you go back and like stand near the explosive thing? Here we go, it’s about ta happen! IT’S ABOUT TO HAPPEN Y’ALL! GET READY FOR IT! Oh, he’s actually just inspecting it straight up in his face! WOAH! Breathe deep! *disgusted laughter, followed by: siith!* Oh, Jesus! ooh I love the smell of burning hair in the mornin’! Oh here we go, “Enemy Searching” *buhbam* SEARCH NO MORE FELLAS I have come to you with GOOD TIDINGS & JOY! *tink* Oh, right in your boober! ehoo-huh FUCK YEAHHHH! See, never go to bed, without extinguishing your SNIPER RIFLES FIRST! You didn’t die and that makes me sad. :'( OOOOH, Listen up! Ah, sorry you can’t anymore, cause youvenoface! COVER BLOWN?! HOW did they not know that I was that Hispanic woman is disguise?! TELL ME YOUR SECRETS! *Orca Jack?* Oh, point blank(?) he didn’t deserve that… He was a nice man, doing a good job, tending to his family And… getting money for his kids to go to Spanish college He didn’t deserve that. But he did walk in on me, with my gun loaded, so.. maybe he did. Hello Sir! Do you have any wine at this fine establishment? 0_0 *I won’t bother translating that weird noise :P* WOO! All good snipers are our orthadontists (WHAT?) at the same time. I mean, you can’t make all your money snipin’… its just not a reliable career there’s only so many people you can kill Like, fucking George Clooney up here, 0_o DAT DIDN’T HIT TESTICLE?? What?! You gotta loo-You look like you have a bit of tennis elbow there goin’ on. *SANIC* 0_o Oh, very nice! Very-el We can that the ‘Kick Back’. The kick back from Jack! *excessive self-idoling? xD idk, jk!* Very powerful move very underrated in the… the NSC — National Snipers… Community. *lolz* Why am I shootin’ statues? *intense moment?* -wtf?-Okay, take THAT you fokin’ piece of concrete! nnNNOBODY takes a shot from Jack and walks away… N O B O D Y ! (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ how fuckin’ dare you? OOOH… I’m sorry, did you NEED that kidney? What were you going to do, DRINK with it?! *panting dog Jack* oh, Oh, OH, AWWW I COULDA GOT DE DOUBLE!! WHY ARE YOU DENYING ME GREAT THINGS IN MY LIFE? -tic- Motherfuckers… FINE. You’re just gonna die, NOT A NOBLE’S MAN’S DEATH, or anything like that, no- just a regular ole’.. bullet, through the head… How fuckin BORING and MUNDANE! Ooh- Hello friend! 😀 Would you like, to get shot in the balls? *Kazoo kid?* I think so! :3 C’MON DOWN! To BALLS’r’US! Where you can get- OOooH? 0_o That was just straight through your intestines. “Intestine Shot” Well, at least we know what he had for dinner! *Oh god, I think I’m gonna be sick>~:3 OHH YES! Right in the fuckin’ heart! I need more of those! I NEED MORE HEARTS! Man… IT’S BECAUSE I’M HEARTLESS! *I give you some