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I Shot Myself In The Head – And Survived | TRULY


KEVIN AMUNDSON: Growing up I did not think of myself as somebody with depression. I knew people and I had friends who I knew were diagnosed with depression and were depressed but I never thought I was depressed until that day. KEVIN AMUNDSON: Hi, I’m Kevin, I’m real big into trucks, and at the age of 20, I tried to kill myself. KEVIN AMUNDSON: Prior to the attempt, I had not thought about committing suicide, it had never even crossed my mind. KEVIN AMUNDSON: We’re at the lake where I attempted. KEVIN AMUNDSON: That fishing pier right there is where I actually pulled the trigger, I was out on the end of the pier. KEVIN AMUNDSON: Right here was when I was like, “Ok this is actually going to happen”. KEVIN AMUNDSON: The lake that day was calm, it looked like glass, clear blue skies. There was a blue heron over there in those reeds. KEVIN AMUNDSON: It’s kind of hard coming back here, probably always will be for the rest of my life. This is the place where I hit the lowest, the lowest point in my life. The biggest thing that was going through my mind when I got out here was just relief and fear. I was going to finally take the burden that was me away from the world. KEVIN AMUNDSON: I had my phone out that day and I actually typed a message to my parents just, “I love you” probably five or six times but I never sent it. I had my phone out to call 911 and let them know who I was, where I was and what I was going to do. The 911 operator, on the other end of the line, she tried to talk me out of it. She asked me why, she asked me how I was going to do it. But I didn’t really, I didn’t really give her a response other than, “Just please send someone out”, and then I hung up the phone. I sat down and then pulled the trigger. KEVIN AMUNDSON: Afterwards like my eyesight was black, my ears couldn’t hear anything and then everything just kind of goes dark after that. I shot myself through the bottom of the jaw up into my brain cavity with a 22 Hollow Point, which I thought would do the trick. DAVE: On the day that we found out about Kevin’s attempt, I was sitting over here, just came home from work and I was just laying down on the couch for a couple of minutes when the sheriff’s cars pulled into the driveway. I can remember, you know, first thing they said was, “Kevin shot himself”. And of course like an idiot first thing I said is, “You’re joking” you know, and then right away when I said it, it’s like, obviously he’s not joking. AMY: It’s like the pain and the emotion shuts off and you just go into the mode of, our daughter was a hero. It was like we have to get our daughter, we have to get to the hospital, you just started into the mechanics. JESSICA: I had gone to my, at the time, boyfriend’s house after school, and my parents planned on him bringing me home later in the evening and about two hours earlier than I was supposed to be home, my parents showed up and I knew instantly something was wrong. My Dad had been crying, and my Dad does not cry. My Mom was just a wreck and all they could say was, “Kevin tried to kill himself.” DAVE: I thought he was gone and my initial thought was I need to say goodbye to him. AMY: The doctors told us, the first five days, there was a 50/50 chance Kevin won’t survive. And they also told us that if he did survive, it would be highly unlikely that he would have any use of the right side of his body and the majority of the bullet was lodged in the speech centre of his brain. So they said there was a very good chance he would not be able to speak and possibly not be able to process. KEVIN AMUNDSON: That first thing I really remember after the attempt was, I was laying in the hospital bed in the ICU. My Dad asked me, “Do you know what happened? Do you know why you’re here?” And I thought I had gotten in a car accident and he was like, “You tried to commit suicide” and then it kind of all came rushing back. And as soon as he said it, his voice broke and that hurts because my Dad is not the type to break down and he broke down and that I think weighs the most on me. It was very hard and it’s not an emotion that I think I’ll ever get over. I was in the ICU for 28 or 29 days and then I hopped around from hospital to hospital for just over three months before I was finally allowed to go home. KEVIN AMUNDSON: I did feel regrets about the suicide attempt for a very short time after I woke up. Once they told me that, “You’re going to make almost a full recovery”, then the regret went out the window and I was one hundred percent focused on getting better. So this is the photo of my truck that was at the foot of my bed from probably day six until I got out of the hospital about three months later. This truck just kind of meant a lot to me because it was something that I purchased very shortly before the attempt, and it was my baby, it was my pride and joy at the time. So knowing that I had a goal to work towards and that was to drive this again, that was a big recovery factor for me. KEVIN AMUNDSON: I had to regain use of the right side of my body. I had a speech impairment. I would just slur some words, had a hard time with pronunciation which still bothers me every once in a while. My brain and my mouth don’t exactly work the same way that they used to and I no longer have a sense of smell. They had to block my nasal cavity with a chunk of my skull because I was leaking spinal fluid out of my nostrils. The scar here is when I woke up out of the coma in order to let my brain swell. They had to take what’s called a bone flap out, so they actually had to go and cut this chunk of my skull out so that my brain could swell into that hole. I went probably three and a half months with a little divot in my head like this. Because I didn’t have any skull there. It used to drive my mom crazy but when the scar was healing, before my bone flap got put back in, I would itch it. And I would tell people that I could feel my brain because I could actually push in right there and squish it around and it drove most people crazy. KEVIN: So today is four years to the day since I attempted and it means a lot for me to be here at the site because I don’t take anything for granted anymore. Everything from the little fish that are jumping in the lake to the sounds of the crickets and the cicadas. It’s the little things that didn’t matter before that I just pick up on now. I think I’ll come out here every year because it means something to me, it means something to be able to say, ‘I survived a suicide attempt and I’m still here’ KEVIN: We usually host a party every year just to celebrate the miracle of me still being here. KEVIN: I do still have depression. It’s probably not something I will ever outgrow or get away from. The mental help that I get now is I am on Prozac – which is antidepressant. KEVIN: I am way closer with my family and friends than I was before and, you know, my parents and my grandparents and everyone will ask me, you know, any time we are together, ‘How you doing? You doing all right? Are you okay?’ KEVIN: Before it wasn’t like that. Now it’s nice to be able to have someone know and be able to ask you know, ‘Are you okay?’ And actually understand what ‘Are you okay means’ truly. JESSICA: You know a lot of people think that this day is really rough. It was actually something that was said today that today’s going be a tough day and the best way that I can put it is it’s not a tough day. It is a grateful day. We don’t call it the anniversary of his attempt. It is his miracle day. It is the day that Kevin became a miracle. JESSICA: That he was given a second chance at life.

100 thoughts on “I Shot Myself In The Head – And Survived | TRULY

  1. For some reason I get really frustrated when people can't live their lives after they have lost someone important to them. They would have wanted to be kept in our hearts and remembered.

  2. One thing: God's favour and Grace were and are still on you! Talk to Him, He must have a really amazing plan for you. You might not see it now but you definitely will. Seek Him.

  3. Its blasphemy to call that a miracle, 50cent got shot 9 times still not a miracle Godless people throwing his middle finger up

  4. The people calling this a miracle are ignoring the very clear fact that the dude took several steps to ensure his survival.
    1.) He called the cops before pulling the trigger. Giving them all the info they need to rescue him.
    2.) He used a .22, which a lot of people survive.
    3.) He shot from the jaw up instead of from the side of the head. Further lowering probability of death.
    4.) He did it outside. Where anyone could come and save him once they hear the shot.
    Honestly this comes off as a publicity stunt rather than a legit attempt. Dude even said his regret left as soon as the doctor said he'll be fine. There's a reason he's being non chalant about the whole thing. At least he got his "miracle day".

  5. Wow, what a story. I don't have my sense of smell either, so I definitely know what it's like to live with that. I lost my ability to smell in a serious horse accident when my horse got spooked for some reason & bucked me, head first, into the middle of the street. I still suffer with some of the complications from my brain injury so I can I relate to him, to one degree or another, when he talks about how he still deals with some things from his experience. A shocking story with the end result being nothing short of an absolute miracle but also an INCREDIBLE recovery! A lot of the things the doctors were saying what should've happened, as a result of the incident if he did survive, were also the same things my doctors were saying should've happened to me too in my case. U can tell he's strong, but also very humbled by his life-changing experience.

  6. Keeping praying for Kevin's mom will get better soon .
    I live montgomery Alabama too.
    I can't tell you my story since July 1986 summer . maybe later wait to her feel BETTER more life .

  7. I’m so confuse on all these videos because I’ve been trying to find videos of Minnesota like these kind of videos and I never find them until I just walk upon them so wired

  8. Hey as someone with a bullet in there head from trying…guys if you are going through something please talk to someone. The look in my parents face when I told them what I did I will never forget it. I might never forgive myself for the pain i caused them. People love you please just don’t do it!

  9. This is an amazing story. Thank you Kevin for sharing your story and I am glad you are here. My son at age 22 attempted suicide and suffered a self inflicted gunshot wound to the right frontal lobe from a 9mm that occured on Aug 11 2017. I have witnessed first hand amzaing micrales through GOD, family and prayer in my son's healing journey. My son was in the hospital and recovery for over 7 months before coming home, now he is living on his own, driving and caring for his daughter.

  10. I don't ever want to be alone with guns. If they are someone else's it's ok, but I can't be alone with a gun all the time. I know another man who survived and is in much worse shape.

  11. Boy u survived and u can walk talk and u are handsome if u dont give God some praises right now God is amazing AMEN

  12. Boy why are u depressed u have a beautiful family who loves u dearly I have no1 but God and I'm happy u need to find jesus

  13. my uncle shot himself in the chin and survived but has a traumatic brain injury but the doctors said he would be a vegetable but he walks and talks and eats so they were wrong

  14. The only time I ever thought of suicide is not depression. It's curiosity. What happens? What is after death? It's so frustrating. But I know there are people around me that love me. And it's great that this man encountered the grim reaper and survived

  15. lost so many OF my friends due to suicide,I was found in time the Dr told my friend,if she would of found me just half later they couldn't save me…

  16. I’m grateful your still alive bud, there is more to life than the shitty side, i suffer from depression too, and to see stuff like this helps me by and by, to anyone who’s depressed, reach out for help. Let this video be a realization that, yes depression is a battle, but with help you can win! Praise and love to everyone. Nobody deserves to hurt.

  17. I've been seconds away twice in my life from committing suicide and later in my life I've had two health "incidents" that I was given little hope of surviving. The first one 17 years ago I was literally told by a surgeon to get my Will in order and I went from discovery of a illness directly into surgery. With that being said, I can clearly say that SUICIDE is never, ever a way OUT of pain and/or depression. It is a permanent solution to a temporary problem!!! But I will add that if I ever, with no exceptions, have a terminal illness with no way out of the pain and regression of health, we should always be allowed a humane way of medically ending life. Now, that may sound hypocritical but I assure you it is not. My two illnesses I fought for life and never gave up hope. As for the suicidal thinking, God showed me a way out of my "stinking thinking". BUT, I do understand that if you are not choosing to go thru the mental pain and anguish that is leading you down a suicidal path, that is so very easy to take the quick way out. I am alive, I am present and I take nothing in this life for granted. I am practical and I now realize that I am capable of change and and I am loved.

  18. My lil brother was in the hospital room next to you in a coma, I followed how you were doing while checking on my bro…my bro made a full recovery too :):)

  19. These vids are always a perfect reminder why I wont do it. I couldnt imagine being worse off after a failed suicide attempt.

  20. It's either you didn't do it correctly, or God really loves to see you suffer.

    We are secretly in hell. And God enjoys us suffering our own hardships. He'll keep us alive just to see us suffer some more.

  21. Prozac is like slowly blowing out one's brain. Anti-depressants often cause more problems than they temporarily fix. I've had many bad experiences with them.

  22. Found out that Dave (the dad) passed away in the beginning of this year. This family has been through so much. I hope they all find peace.

  23. People are so selfish when it comes to suicide, always talking about how the family is affected and has to deal with it but what about that person who felt the only option for them is to commit suicide to leave this sick sad world. People who commit suicide are brave, and shouldn’t be looked down upon for making a choice about their own life.

  24. Depression is from day one, until death. These people are not depressed. You're upset, not thinking right, but it IS NOT depression.

  25. What caliber should I use then. Buckshot? Maybe bird or somewhere in between. Damn I’m almost 20 so hopefully I can go through with my attempt. My whole life feels like agony all I can ever think about is killing myself or how alone I am. As if I want anyone anyway. I just hope once I do it I never realize what hits me.

  26. When I was a kid. My family took me to the Grand Canyon. I was going to jump into it just to get away from all the hurt my stepdad and brother was causing me. I stepped a couple feet back to get a running start. I could even picture myself running and jumping into it. And then I looked at my mom. I couldn't leave her.

  27. how did he not become slow afterwards he shot the wrong part of the head do it back of the head is more effective

  28. This is a pretty interesting story to me, when I was 10 I had got ADEM which caused me to Loose the whole left side of my body, I had to learn how to walk again.So I feel like I can relate to you in a way. Hope you’re doing well!

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