BLU MEDIC: MOVE, SCHNELL! BLU MEDIC: SNIPER! BLU MEDIC: HEEELP MEEEE BLU HEAVY: SNIPER! [death] THAT was a re-creation of a competitive Sniper clip that perfectly summarizes how I feel when I play this class. I get a nice reaction headshot on this Medic, look for my next target, and admittedly kind of just steal this Engineer kill. After that, I quickscope this Scout before he even realizes where he is, aaaand we all know what happens next. If I had to summarize Sniper in one sentence, it would probably be: Sometimes it feels like people will do anything to get to you… and sometimes!… ugh, what IS that noise? BLU SCOUT: [SCREAMING FOR 20 SECONDS] UHH, TEAM? Look man, we can work something out! It doesn’t have to be this way! You know if you do this we’re both gonna die! BLU SCOUT: AW CRAP It’s alright… I’ve respawned, I’m safe now… NO GOD PLEASE COME ON I BEG YOU Why is this happening to me?? No more please!!! He DIED AGAIN!!! But there’s a reason everyone’s out to get you! Unless they care to gamble their heads, the enemy team has to respect your ENTIRE sightline! BLU MEDIC: Move! Schnell! BLU HEAVY: NO U BLU MEDIC: RAUS BLU MEDIC: FORWARD! [pop] [meme dance] BLU MEDIC: Uh…. uhoh…. BLU MEDIC: Heavy…? BLU MEDIC: HEAVY?? I mean, if no one comes to stop you, you’re free to have your perfect Sniper game… Devoid of backstabs, and flanking Scouts… These easy games are rare, but… they’re so nice! This is what you’re hoping for when you pick Sniper… Just being able to click on heads in peace… To illustrate how fun and relaxing that kind of game can be, the clip coming up after this has been unedited. It’s just me doing really well on Frontier! So do me a favor… grab a snack or some coffee and just enjoy this clip with me… Wait what? What’s happening? No, go back!!! I don’t Wait, I think The video is editing itself! NO! STOP IT! I CAN’T CONTROL IT! PLEASE!! PLEASE!!!!! [eye on fire for some reason even though it’s just supposed to glow] [Toby Fox – Megalovania] //I swear Megalovania was extremely relevant when I wrote this part into the script lmao [dial-up modem handshake sound]
RED SCOUT: Sniper [dial-up modem handshake sound]
You’ve got mail! RED SCOUT: I AM GONNA KILL YOU! BLU SNIPER: no RED SCOUT: OH YEAH! [Flintstones running SFX] [Undertale title sound] We lost that game. I don’t know how… Playing Sniper is emotional! When you pick Sniper you’re basically announcing: “I believe in myself!” And your teammates are like: And the enemy team!… [stock record scratch sound #3] The enemy team DOESN’T believe in you. This Medic is insulting me! He’s saying, “You can’t hit this shot” And to that, I say, “How dare you! I CAN hit this shot!” RED MEDIC: [hits a shot] This arrow doesn’t hurt half as much as you’ve hurt my FEELINGS I’ll show you! RED SPY: Damn you! You too, Spy? I can’t believe you guys think so little of me… Look, if the enemy Medic isn’t cowering in a corner, Fearing for his life whenever you’re alive, he is disrespecting you. How DARE that Medic show his face! I could’ve killed him! (I could’ve killed you!) I could’ve killed you… Oh, I see what it is. My team is down four players. The cart is near the end, and the enemy Medic is fully charged. I guess they’re feelin’ pretty confident. But they weren’t counting on one thing: I slept NINE HOURS last night.>:D BOOM, drop their Medic BOOM, DELETE their Demoman and BOOM, goodbye Heavy! When you’re in the zone, nothin’ can stop ya’. Especially when you’ve got an Engineer backin’ you up oh you’ve gotta be kidding [exasperated groan] If I had to summarize Sniper in one sentence, But what about the times when you’re not even good? So far, I’ve only shown you clips where I was doing really well, but there was a time when I couldn’t hit a shot to save my life! In this clip, I wasn’t taking care of myself physically OR mentally and it almost looks like I’m TRYING to miss every single shot! [it actually doesn’t look like that at all]
and it almost looks like I’m TRYING to miss every single shot! This kept happening, and I was devastated. BLU SOLDIER: HAH ya shoot like a girl! It turns out that my muscle memory was a total mess ESPECIALLY when trying to shoot Medics! Although, can I just say, that with this PARTICULAR Medic His choice of headwear isn’t exactly making my life EASIER?? Back in the day, things were simple: Just click on the head above the shoulders! Now, there’s more hat than actual head! I can’t just shoot above the shoulders because NOW, I have to figure out (best song ever muffles my speech) AND WOULD YOU STOP THAT? RED FURRY MEDIC: [anger] Anyway, I see this Medic, flick to his head panic!! randomly shake my mouse, and THEN I shoot I get a second chance here though and I I shot… the [email protected]!!! I BLAME YOU FOR THIS! NOW DIE! But this was the clip that truly brought me to my knees. BLU SCOUT: UHHH, NO! I really thought I hit this shot, but OOOOH HO-HO NO !OИ ,HHHU :TUOƆƧ U⅃ᙠ
but OOOOH HO-HO NO I scope in right on his head… FLICK to the wall behind him, SHOOT and THEN return my crosshair to his head [Scout says “Uh NO” 10 times but it’s scary] This is it. I’m washed up. M’life is over. I suck. OR MAYBE! I just have some bad habits! and I can break them! But how?!?! I’ve got to change the way I think about sniping! RED MEƎM: MeɘM
Instead of worrying so much about how I’m gonna get my crosshair to their head, Instead of worrying so much about how I’m gonna get my crosshair to their head, I’m just gonna keep still, and wait for their head to come to my crosshair! This way, I won’t miss shots like this by aiming when I don’t need to, and I don’t expect to get many kills this way but oh my god I just killed their Medic! Eh it was probably just lucky OH MY GOD I DID IT AGAIN! Does this actually work?? Unbelievable this actually works! I feel like I’m a new person! Forcing myself to slow down has practically doubled my accuracy Only two weeks prior, I was in a constant panic! I’d see my target, identify the path their head is travelling on, and then practically guess! You can’t even see the frame where I cross his head! It’s uncivilized, man! My new method is calculated, and it’s so much better in close quarters! This Scout starts casually hopping around, not even shooting his gun as if to say: RED SCOUT: YOU’LL NEVA’ HIT ME He thinks I’ll panic! Well the old me might’ve, but not anymore! With my new method, I mentally project the movement of his head BEFORE I aim BOI it looks to me like you just hopped into a bullet! RED SCOUT: Aw jeez! I even resisted the urge to talk trash! And THAT’S the real victory! Oy wat the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you cheeky kunt? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the SAS, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on abos, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in koala warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire AUS armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this continent, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the computer? Think again, you bloody wombat. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the southern hemisphere and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the typhoon, yobbo. The typhoon that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, ankle biter. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Australian Defence Force and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face off the continent, you little snag. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your bloody tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn wanker. I will shit a cut snake as cross as a frog in a sock all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, shit-stirrer. Okay, let’s calm down After practicing this more patient style for long enough, I gained control over my aim! And now, I don’t panic when I shoot at Medics. It feels great to break a bad habit! But what was the point of me telling you any of this? I need you to understand [Undertale title sfx] Because if anyone were to watch me go through this whole journey from the outside? All they would see is this: RED SNIPER: Piss. [screm] When you play as Sniper, no one else really sees what you see. You don’t exist to anyone unless you just shot them in the head or are getting killed by them up close! What this means is that only YOU can see every shot that you miss. Only YOU can tell when you’re underperforming and only YOU can beat yourself up about it. and sometimes, That’s how it feels to play Sniper. [CINEMASINS: Roll credits. [ding]]
That’s how it feels to play Sniper. Music: Paaain :'( Now of course if it’s been 20 minutes and you only have 2 points on the scoreboard, your little personal journey might stop being so personal BLU SOLDIER: God DAMMIT SNIPER! BLU SOLDIER: STOP BEING SUCH A CUPCAKE AND GIT GUD! BLU SNIPER: Nah. BLU SOLDIER: [friendly scream of exasperation] BLU SOLDIER: WAIT! BLU SOLDIER: Can you at LEAST talk about SPIES? BLU SNIPER: Okay 😀 Listen, personally, when it comes to Spies, I cannot STAND being backstabbed, so if it happens even ONE TIME The Razorback is COMIN’ OUT! Now look, some people think the Razorback is pointless since Spies can just shoot you anyway, but at least you get a chance, man!!! BLU SPY: Admirable shot. Of course, sometimes you’ll run into a Spy who doesn’t understand how the Razorback works, and OH is that sweet BLU SPY: HAHAHAHAHA BLU SPY: what RED SNIPER: G’DAY! BLU SPY: [awkward laugh] BLU SPY: [more awkward laughter] BLU SPY: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Believe it or not though, I’d rather take my chances with a Spy than get focused down by a Sniper! The unfortunate truth of the matter is that even the BEST snipers can die to anyone who’s willing to hide somewhere and charge up a bodyshot WHAT?? This is what I’m talking about! I just got shot from another country! Now folks, I’ve heard of countersniping but THIS is RIDICULOUS! [audience laughs] Unfortunately, even though Sniper vs. Sniper is so cheesy, it can be pretty emotional to lose the match-up I always feel a little guilty when I’m playing in a Casual game where the enemy Snipers don’t realize that standing still in the open is a quick way to get headshot! Ah shucks, it’s always the fourth Sniper that gets ya. [Text to Speech reads accusations] Alright, alright, let’s rewind a bit… HMMMM…. maaaybe it’s because you were STANDING COMPLETELY STILL!!!! GRRR this guy thinks I’m hacking? I’ll show him hacking… I’m gonna shoot this guy so many times he’ll never play again!!! Wait, hold on… what’s this? Wow… A ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR THIS GUY’S ATTITUDE!! HOLY HELL he’s asking for ADVICE instead of defending his pride! Even I still get mad when Snipers are better than me! The guy that makes up boogeymen to protect his pride, Or the guy that gets his head blown off and starts taking notes? This video featured a lot of my personal experiences, but that’s because, if you ask me, Sniper is personal! It’s easy to get emotional playing a class where every shot is an opportunity to fail… (to myself) UGH HOW COULD I MISS THAT?! or to succeed! (to myself) I have never missed a shot in my life. Throughout all the days where you feel like the worst Sniper to boot the game and all those days where you feel like you’re “God’s gift” to TF2… It’s important to be humble and remember that you’re probably not the best around, but you can always improve, and you can always enjoy that process. BLU SOLDIER: Screw you. BLU SOLDIER: I am going to go play mineCRAFT [C418 – Minecraft] BLU SOLDIER: Oh hello! BLU SCOUT (from the Engineer video): Oh hey! BLU SCOUT: Lil’ help? BLU SOLDIER: Oh yeah! BLU SCOUT: Sweet!