Guns in America

The Las Vegas atrocity continues to dominate the news. Not surprisingly, the massacre in Las Vegas has reignited the Gun Control debate in America. The attack has prompted howls of outrage from many people. These mass shootings in the United States keep on happening with no prospect whatsoever of this one being the last. It’s a very very sad day for me, personally. IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT! Not only he’s self-obsessed, he continued to dodge the issue the world is talking about. He refused to even address the question of gun laws. Not gonna talk about it?! It was the worst mass shooting in American history and he’s like “This is hardly the time.” “Let’s talk sausages!” When an incident happens you discuss the incident! Like, if my girlfriend caught me with my dick in a jam jar, I wouldn’t… I wouldn’t be like “This is hardly the time!” How dare you cheapen this moment! We need to talk about gun violence in America, because nobody in power seems to be blaming guns! I mean, an NRA spokesperson dismisses the Las Vegas massacre by claiming “feet” are just as deadly as guns. FEET! ARE JUST AS DEADLY AS GUNS?! Oscar Pistorius. The NRA weren’t the only ones. Trump’s friends at Fox News were making some outrageous claims. If that psychopath had god forbid driven a truck into that crowd, and killed a hundred people, would we be talking about truck control? Yes! As humans we learn from our mistakes, it’s called “evolution!” If a bad thing keeps happening we fix it! That’s why cars have seatbelts, and airbags, and automatic brakes; we learn from mistakes. If I’m in a carry, I don’t go trampolining! The reason there are so many gun deaths in America is because they have a ridiculous amount of guns. Americans own more guns than any other country in the world. 300 million weapons in all. That’s 89 (guns) for every 100 people. 89 guns for every 100 people. In the UK, it’s 6. And what do we hardly have in this country? Gun death. And some Americans are like “You’re English, you don’t understand. “If you had a gun, “You’d feel safe.” No, I wouldn’t… I’d use it. Like, I’m English, we’re angry all the time. All we’ve got is sarcasm. Imagine if we had a gun, it’d be a nightmare. [GUN SOUNDS] I HELD THE DOOR OPEN FOR YOU BUT YOU DIDN’T THANK ME!!! [GUN SOUNDS] I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU MADE A CUP OF TEA, BUT PUT THE MILK IN FIRST!!! [GUN SOUNDS] [whispering] You’re talking.. in the quiet carriage! Shuuuuuuuuuuuuush! That’s why we don’t have guns. Also, they’re tricky to buy. Whereas in America, There are more gun shops than Starbucks, McDonald’s and supermarkets put together. It’s easier to buy a gun than a Happy Meal. Duh duh duh duh, it’s ludicrous. And again, you hear Americans going “I need my gun to protect me from ISIS.” Bollocks! Americans are more likely to be killed by a toddler than a terrorist. And yet still, the NRA say “Guns don’t kill people, “People do.” As a rule of thumb: if you answer a question by going like this, You’re lying! Think about it. – Have you been drinking?
– No. – Have you been sleeping with my sister?
– No! – Did you put your dick in the jam jar?
– Absolutely not. And the very idea that you would suggest that I would do a thing like that to summon a sacred sweet sweet jam… is ridiculous. In America, semi-automatic rifles are legal, but these products are banned. Kinder eggs. Brie. And in Alabama, you are not allowed a sex toy. Over 12,000 people have died from guns this year, Nobody has been dildoed to death. That’s right madam, what a way to go! To be honest I shouldn’t be joking. This is a really serious matter, because some Americans cling to the Second Amendment, which says “The right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.” That was written in 1791. Here’s the kind of guns they had then. Close the fizzle, pull the cock back, Aim, and fire. Here’s the guns we have now. It’s probably time for a change. It’s never going to happen is it? It’s never gonna happen. Because Trump talks about the Second Amendment.. like an infant. The Second Amendment’s purpose is to guarantee our right to defend ourselves and our families; we need that! In fact, I have a license to carry in New York. Can you believe that? Nobody knows. He’s such a child! America needs an adult not a kid! People are going to keep dying until that gets changed! And Americans go “You can’t change the constitution!” You can! It’s been amended 27 times in 200 years! Trump wants to make America great again so make it great! Get out the Tipp-Ex, change the constitution, and start SAVING LIVES!

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