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Crazy Drug Lord | Anwar Jibawi


>>LELI HERNANDEZ: Baby, you look fine, honestly.>>LELI HERNANDEZ: Like…
>>JEFF WITTEK: You sure?>>LELI HERNANDEZ: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
>>JEFF WITTEK: You think one button?>>LELI HERNANDEZ: Papi.>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Hey, how are you mija?>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Aw, I love you so much.
>>LELI HERNANDEZ: I’m good.>>LELI HERNANDEZ: So, this is my boyfriend Jeff.>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Boyfriend?>>LELI HERNANDEZ: Yeah. He was the one that I was telling you about.>>JEFF WITTEK: Nice to meet you, sir.>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Hi. How you doing, Jeff?>>LELI HERNANDEZ: So are we going to lunch?>>JEFF WITTEK: Yeah, let’s do it.>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Do you know what? I want to get to know this guy. How about we hang out? You go shopping with your girls, you know?>>LELI HERNANDEZ: Okay, alright.>>JEFF WITTEK: Yeah. I’m cool with that.>>LELI HERNANDEZ: Alright. Thank you dad.
>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Love you sweetie.>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Come here a sec. I love you beautiful.>>LELI HERNANDEZ: I love you too.>>JEFF WITTEK: See you later.>>ANWAR JIBAWI: I love you amor. Hey! Be careful, okay? That’s my life, yeah. Everything I worked for is because of that one right there.>>JEFF WITTEK: I could see why.>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Let’s go inside, huh?>>JEFF WITTEK: Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Let’s go inside.>>JEFF WITTEK: Alright.>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Jefe. I like that.>>JEFF WITTEK: Wow.>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Take a seat, relax, okay? Hey! Mi casa es su casa, okay? Su casa?>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Yeah. So tell me about yourself. How did you meet my daughter?>>JEFF WITTEK: I’ll never forget it man. Um, we met at the club. We met at the library. The library club.>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Oh! Okay! Okay! The library club. Yeah, yeah. She’s a very educated girl.>>JEFF WITTEK: Is that a real gun?>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Oh this? Of course it’s real. Oh, I just take this everywhere I go. Woah-we. Is it good [BLEEP]?>>GUY: Oh yeah!>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Hey! Do you wanna try some of this [BLEEP]?>>JEFF WITTEK: Oh, no, no. No thanks, I’m good.>>ANWAR JIBAWI: I was just testing you. [JEFF CHUCKLES]
[KNOCK ON DOOR] Come in!>>ANDY PAGANA: How you doing?>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Hey, how you doing?>>ANDY PAGANA: Hey!>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Let’s see what you’ve got here. Oh!>>ANDY PAGANA: 500,000 dollars.>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Hey! Where’s the rest of the money?>>ANDY PAGANA: What do you mean?>>ANWAR JIBAWI: You’re missing 2 quarters. That’s 50 cents, okay? Where’s my money?>>ANDY PAGANA: Where’s the 50 cents?>>GREG FURMAN: I put it in the meter man.>>ANDY PAGANA: What do you mean you had to feed the meter?>>GREG FURMAN: I parked on the side of the road.>>ANDY PAGANA: Man you can’t just do that. [ANDY & GREG ARGUING]>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Hey! Hey! It’s okay, it’s okay. It’s just 50 cents. Don’t worry.>>GREG FURMAN: See? Exactly. That’s what I told you, it’s 50 cents. [GUN SHOT]>>JEFF WITTEK: God damn! 50 cents man…>>ANWAR JIBAWI: My money!>>ANDY PAGANA: He deserved it. [GUN SHOT]>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Nobody asked for your opinion, okay?>>JEFF WITTEK: Jesus christ man. You just shot the [BLEEP] guy.>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Are you crying?>>JEFF WITTEK: Nah…>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Why you crying?>>JEFF WITTEK: You just killed two guys, man.>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Hey, hey. Relax, okay? Stop crying. There’s two things in life that nobody [BLEEPS] with. My money. And my daughter. Do you love my daughter?>>JEFF WITTEK: Yeah.>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Then you’re okay. You’re good my friend.>>INANNA SARKIS: Baby. Come on. I wanna go somewhere.>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Hey! Don’t you see I have a guest over?>>INANNA SARKIS: I don’t care about your stupid guest.>>ANWAR JIBAWI: I have a guest right now.>>INANNA SARKIS: No, I wanna massage you.
>>ANWAR JIBAWI: What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing?>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Hey!
>>INANNA SARKIS: I wanna massage you.>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Okay, okay, okay. Go get me a coffee! Stop! Go get me->>INANNA SARKIS: Why?>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Go get me a coffee. Do you want anything?>>INANNA SARKIS: No. I’m not getting him nothing.>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Hey! This is our guest, relax, okay?>>INANNA SARKIS: Here you go mi amor.
>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Thank you beautiful.>>ANWAR JIBAWI: It’s decaf?>>INANNA SARKIS: Hm?>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Is this decaf?>>INANNA SARKIS: Mmhm. [GUN SHOT]>>JEFF WITTEK: What the [BLEEP] man?>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Nobody drinks decaf, okay?>>JEFF WITTEK: Who was that?>>ANWAR JIBAWI: That’s my wife.>>JEFF WITTEK: You killed your wife over a [BLEEP] coffee?>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Do you drink decaf?>>JEFF WITTEK: Nah…>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Who the [BLEEP] drinks decaf bro? [BLEEP] this [BLEEP]. I don’t even love that [BLEEP]. The person I care about is my daughter. That’s it! No one else! Okay? Do you take care of my daughter? Everything’s okay man. You a good guy. I like you. As long as you don’t break her heart.>>JEFF WITTEK: I’ll never hurt her man.>>ANWAR JIBAWI: I really, really like you a lot, okay? So what kind of music do you like?>>JEFF WITTEK: I don’t know man. Rap.>>ANWAR JIBAWI: What kind? What kind of rap?>>JEFF WITTEK: 50 Cent.>>ANWAR JIBAWI: 50 Cent? Come on these mother [BLEEP] owe me 50 cents.>>JEFF WITTEK: Ugh.>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Do you wanna hear some real [BLEEP]? Play some real [BLEEP] real quick. You see that? This is music. Oh! Baby it’s our song! Hey! Do you remember this song? Do you remember this song? It’s our favorite part, ready? Oh wait, she’s dead. I forgot.
[DOORBELL] [GUN SHOT] Get down! [GUN SHOTS] Woo! [GUN SHOTS]>>JEFF WITTEK: What the [BLEEP] is wrong with you man?>>ANWAR JIBAWI: How many there’s left?>>JEFF WITTEK: It looks like 3.>>ANWAR JIBAWI: 3? Oh [BLEEP]. I have 1 bullet. [BLEEP] this [BLEEP] There we go. I had a pretty good day. Did you? So fun. Okay. Hey, hey. You’re free to go now, okay? Actually, you know what? You have 10 seconds to leave. 10. 9. 8. 5. 4. Okay guys, he’s gone, he’s gone! We totally fooled that guy! Oh my God!>>ANDY PAGANA: 50 cents!>>GREG FURMAN: He’s never talking to your daughter again!>>JEFF WITTEK: Hey did I leave my phone on the couch?>>INANNA SARKIS: Oh my God! Oh! I’m dead! Oh!>>JEFF WITTEK: Hey! Hey! Oh, this was all a joke?>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Look man. I was just protecting my daughter, you know. I->>JEFF WITTEK: That’s funny cause I actually came here to tell you that your daughter’s pregnant.>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Is this a joke or are you just trying to get me back.>>JEFF WITTEK: No, no. I had sex with her and now she’s carrying my child.>>ANWAR JIBAWI: Really? [EXIT MUSIC]

100 thoughts on “Crazy Drug Lord | Anwar Jibawi

  1. It’s so funny how Jeff rejected coke in this (Ik it’s scripted) but if he was in David dobrik he would have taken that shit

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