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Can You Beat Borderlands 3 WITHOUT Guns?

Two words. Guns. In Borderlands 3 your
guns are your most prized possession they separate you from the normies and
the Sylvester Stallone’s of gaming they separate you from the that they separate
you from from your friendships because they have better orangy than you and you
feel separated Borderlands has a gun of almost every flavor we got guns that
shoot hamburgers guns that explode when you reload them guns with legs and a
personal favorite of mine poopoo Dyer Angus guns but as always what if all
these endless flavor blasted options were stripped right from our inventories
what if I decided to show you what a hurricane of testosterone and the
ancient Mandarin artifice ting looked like what if you lived vicariously
through me and realized that guns these bad boys aren’t that important as you
thought they were today we will answer a question no sane person has ever asked
can you beat Borderlands 3 without guns nobody has clearly ever asked this
question before because only a man as troubled as I am after seeing that
absurdly hideous George Lopez Gundam from Sharkboy and Lavagirl could ask
something like this in order to make this run even possible a few rules need
to be set in stone rule 1 when I say no guns you could bet your sweet little
cupcake – cheeks I mean it not even guns with melee attachments rule – no o P
grenade cheese and no legendary gear I can use grenades artifacts and shields
but as an added bonus my shield can never pass the green rarity rule 3 every
and anything can be used to terminate my enemies of course without shooting them
and lastly rule 4 put up your shutters because this hurricane full of cosmic
brownie testosterone is about a hit category 5
grab your Scooby Doo fruit snacks & Tricks yogurts because your gamer girl
Sandra is gonna show you how it’s done before we start this wacky and tacky
adventure I just want to clarify something the backlash in my last video
from Mario was absolutely immense so I decided to take his advice and bind
melee to right-mouse-click I did it I am look right now swine I did it I did
all right now it will be no surprise to people that this run I’ll be choosing
that little beefcake Kamara her fisting abilities are that of a
Shaolin monk and dragon dildo crossover she is basically one punch man but
instead of going bald from all the training she had she turned into Machamp
from pokemons literally after picking Amara I was greeted with my favorite
gamer girl in all of gaming claptrap he gave me an echo device I changed my name
to that of a youtube user that parted my wiggle bags like the 1964 New York Times
versus Sullivan case and then set off on my way my guardian ranks are still at 0
by the way and that won’t be changing long story short I watched claptrap get
outplayed and flashed on by the Insane Clown Posse in their magnet and this was
when I was graced with the euphoria of fisting having my melee bound to my
mouse was a godsend it wasn’t too bad so far and I enjoyed playing
testosterone-fueled pattycake with these bandits shave on the other hand kind of
gave me what I thought he would with the force of 1,000 true noble nuclear
reactors shave was dead Lilith came to thank me for destroying the enemy Nexus
and then I was off the crimson flaccid me HQ I was told to go find the Sun
Smasher chief and that is exactly what your boy did with my action skill now
obtained these foes met no match for me and my hot dog water fueled anger like
some sort of rated X version of Karate Kid I karate dict all of the bandits on
my way to Vaughn saved his Captain Underpants looking head ass and returned
to Lilith no gun so far was faring quite easy but this was honestly expected for
the beginning of this run next it was time to meet up with Ellie which was the
biggest disappointment of this game even though she is still my prom queen what’s
up with her dropping some weight man I mean yeah the jiggle physics are I mean
God bless gearbox for this but now I’m going to need to update my Ellie hentai
body pillow dude come on that’s some fucking bullshit after helping my diaper
booty Queen I now had access to vehicles and that meant that your boy couldn’t
shoot in them I quickly made sure to do the most important main quests in the
game getting claptrap is teets called hat and after a few of my
favorite things ever to gain some levels your girl and his fists were ready to
hit up mouthpiece before we push any further gentle boys and girls let’s
discuss the plan operation taking up the trash at night was now in full effect
this operation should be quite simple you little Nintendo 64 controllers this
run we will go a couple points into Amara’s red tree and then absolutely do
a kissing prank gone wrong on her green tree which focuses on amplifying my
fisting technique after we will make our merry way obeying the speed limit and
embrace full level Saitama by the end of the game making this whole run all the
way easier Amara’s elemental and ranged attacks will make for taking out mobs
easier than taking out the skeletons in my closet because I said I’m sorry mama
but your boys staying up late tonight to prove to some people on the internet
something that they probably don’t care about and they’re only subscribed for my
profile picture because my contents how do I always do this man listening to God
cringed Irene was torturous and you know what was worse the fact that they
renamed midgets to tanks are you fucking kidding me gearbox get a fucking grip us my fist honestly stood no match for the
enemies here but with a bit of perseverance I was able to make my way
through mouthpiece was my first major boss fight and this was going to be a
piece of cake after a bit of fisting and spamming my action skills
I got his health to the length of a Smurfs dick and did what any reasonable
educated cultured person would do I killed him with a slide kick this
achievement meant a great deal to me and with the vault map now in hand I
returned to Lilith and then found out she was useless so it was time to find
Tanis my tiny meat crusade continued and I saved Tanis from a bunch of bandits as
she deciphered the map so far the run was faring quite easy with the map now
deciphered it was time to assemble a ship and head to space
I wrote killed a couple of ads for the sake of Elon Musk and stolen a virtue
destroying those poor little bandit insert euphemism for butt cheeks here
haha guys I’m gonna pause the video for you now to give you some time to laugh
because I know that was really goddamn funny and you’re gonna need to laugh
after that one so tell me when you guys are done lap and then watched a little
if get her powers super sucked a marriage of fists and brown starfish is
secured on this day and Lilith was now saved we made our way to the stars and
it was time to continue our fisting conquest on the other side of the galaxy
Promethea was the destination of the next vault and your favorite gamer girl
was ready to take this bad boy down unfortunately the children of cringe and
their queen was on Promethea but still the challenge was not present and
finally I met with Lorelei being forced to destroy a vehicle without guns really
wasn’t enjoyable but I did my Master’s bidding and then we got closer to Atlas
HQ I enjoyed getting Eiffel towered by everyone and their grandmas during this
part and you know I didn’t really ask Lorelei but I’m sure she enjoyed it too it was time to now meet with the recent
holy hell my 23 year old brain couldn’t even recognize the gloriousness that
rested on his face that shit was absolutely divine after chatting and
finding out where their first vault key piece was I checked my PDA and oh wow
won’t you look at that 1 o’clock appointment with mr. side-quests ok
after getting Lorelei’s some coffee and burgers and actually hating my life for
doing this with no guns I was done with the side quests and rampage and it was
time to get back to work the hyperbolic chamber seemed to deem me well and I was
absolutely dominating these knotty enemies I made my way to zero and that
boy was looking under geared as fuck so we got him a legendary sword upgrade and
know won’t you look at that my PDA says we have a Giga
chat appointment at 4 p.m. right after I was done playing the pre-sequel and
making another shitty joke about it because I’m not funny at all giga chad
stood no match for my Machamp strength hm because you know iev trained her into
the green skill tree and this was where i hit my first problem the problem
wasn’t clapping Gigot Chad’s ass chicks the problem was the fact that when I got
downed zero wasn’t the homie I thought he was I spent my time getting Giga
Minds low to finish him off with a slide kick not even worrying about being down
because I knew zero had my back and this this I can’t believe him so I tried
again and 15 minutes later I kicked his smelly non shins in and called it a day
I put Giga Chad’s fermented egg brain in Theresa’s computer and it was time to
find the location of the next vault key piece Athena was the next planet in line
to face the wrath of my testosterone hurricane the difficulty was starting to
scale but boy oh boy was I showing them who the real Daddy in town was and as
Psalm 31 4 says Maia I would do anything to let you phase-lock even my toenails
for just a mere second after pushing forward with my ax there isn’t much to
say here we made another hit and I’ll tell you now we did it with ease and
then it was time to fight captain taint as my first challenge this was when the
game’s difficulty scaled up quite a bit and killing him wasn’t as easy as I
thought it would be even switching up elements to fist him to his weaknesses
didn’t help the shinobi Alliance headband wasn’t going to do me this run
I needed something of more potency so after boiling some hot dog water
downing a few shots it was time with my giant brain and really small wiener I
was able to finish him off and as always I’ll put the boss fight’ in the
description that link will also have every major boss fight that I do this
run either way I had the first vault key piece I was now half chubbed and as my
favorite artist Bilby eyelash one said it was time to play the pre-sequel my
gear wasn’t anything special as so far and with Reece cashing in his allies
card it was time to skedaddle and take out his vermin problem being in the
pre-sequel was easier than I thought it would be Amara’s fists gave everyone’s
asshole a diameter to that of a three-story townhome and I spent most of
my time in the sky wall changing my elemental type and getting absolutely
destroyed every 4 seconds I eventually made it to category lies the hip box for
melee attacks in this game war dog feces but after a little moral support from my
good pal Kevin hey Kevin listen man I need a little ego boost tell me I got
like nice shoes or some nice nipples or something I don’t know I turned to
categorical bead and I had the second bulky piece now in my hands the final
piece rested in the hands of Kattegat Atlas HQ I pushed forward on my way to
deal with taking out the trash but I got my ass absolutely handed to me
eventually though I made it Teresa’s Bioshock roleplay Fantasy room and
categories next on the list this fight was surprisingly incredibly easy but in
no time I was able to make a spit-roast of his health bar the final piece of
exodia was now mine and the vault key was assembled and I now had the skill
that allowed me to embrace my inner Machamp and fists with the power of a
desperate housewives’ rage this was going to make things 100 times easier
fancy meeting you here you little babe alright okay I was just warming alright
I wasn’t playing last game that was my mom and now I’m I’ll admit I went into this fight a
little cocky and I’ll also admit that Maya couldn’t be any more fucking
useless by not reviving me after many tries and just being a little bitch
jumping around and hitting him with my ranged attacks the RAM pager was now
dead and I finally knew the disappointment my parents felt when they
had me I forgot to kill the RAM pager with the slide attack I expect every
single one of you guys to dislike this video now I’m I’m guys I’m so sorry
quickly then after Maya turned into a class mod and Ava being the loot goblin
she is instantly picked it up it was time for Eden sixth and to save my boy
mr. hammy Locke I had my boy Marcus from Halo 3 by my side and we decided to beat
some booties in unison with my perk tree ever growing it was becoming a bit
easier but death still ensued tiny Tina gave us a firepower we needed and
Mordecai did basically nothing as he watched just as any actual Mordecai
player fortunately killing the warden wasn’t very much of a nightmare this
time around and it was as easy as catching hell rats and evil Dave’s
basement and runescape with my boy sir hammerlock free it was time to get intel
on the next vault piece this was where things started to become a little pain
and my Dingle berry sandwich I mean sure when I got to Wainwright’s estate I do
have to admit that he was a badass but that didn’t beat the fact that getting
bucked by Thanos his purple schlong was not fun this part damn near broke me in
due time he was dead and I found the Jacob’s family mixtape we listen to that
shit and I’m not gonna lie it was pretty fire as a young boy say nowadays but the
family jewel was next on the list and my fists were craving more flesh I arrived
at the Jacobs family ship crash site found ice-t after freeing him from a
dinosaur and went through the downed Jacobs family ship to find Genevieve
making it through the ship I went through pounding everything I possibly
could in sight at this point I had a 75 kill streak and my K da was looking
quite admirable it rivaled even the upper echelon of the faze clan KD gods
but with Bale X now the proud owner of his very own Gundam we United our diaper
booty forces and brought Genevieve to her demise for this fight the main goal
is to make sure that my elements matched her weaknesses and not even ten minutes
later she was dead and the vault key piece was now in my possession next it
was time to you Clay’s special vision to get through and
meet up with his homies thanks to the comments in my last video I was able to
pass this part without firing the weapon once but I did use it to find out where
the weak spots were after rounding up the homies it was time for my next
Thanos I got pretty much demolished during this fight until I found out that
phase locking him in place and using him like a sock puppet was quite effective
with the last vault key piece now in my possession you knew what that meant boys
making my way to the vault irelia got in the way of me and the riches that
awaited which I mean I I wouldn’t be able to use them anyway so I I’m just
playing the game alright man irelia got a taste of my justice and I had the
intention of finishing her off with a slight kick but I didn’t know the ice
pillar she sit upon was physically a part of her not only am I expecting a
few dislikes this video but I want to see those unsub’s too because this is
this is fucking ridiculous Kent likes after breaking a few statues
it was time for grave ward honestly I take back what I said just a second ago
if you haven’t subbed yet or used the strengths hm on that like button please
do so just for this fight this boss was yeah hey guys Moxie’s right the tip 33
here coming at you with the new grave Ward farming method the conference call
that Opie grenade this shit is guaranteed kill after 50 minutes most
efficient way baby hell after 40 goddamn minutes of praying to the Lord and
Savior Randy Pitchford that I didn’t die hell yeah look at this boys look at this
goddamn deeps I finally did it and it was on the name of testosterone and
microwaved breakfast burritos the feat was done but now the show must go on the
cringe twins stole Tannis but good thing is I knew exactly where she was I gave
my offering to enter the festival and like a monsoon fisting testosterone and
pain sweep to my enemies by surprise although the enemies were getting a bit
harder I was very grateful that side-quests basically were non-existent
for me at this point I tried stopping carnivory with action skills but it just
didn’t seem possible so I resorted to use
the barrel flinging attachment on my ak-47 to try and take her down now it
was time for the agonizer 9000 dealing damage to him was difficult because my
melee attacks barely reached him and my Dragon Ball Z Kai blast literally
tickled his ball sack with the Falcons feather
after spending a while quick scoping him with phase blasts and nating him
whenever possible I got to his iridium course stage and this was where things
got even more tedious I am now probably the only person that took 17 God
forsaken minutes to kill him during the easiest phase we found out Tanis was
Aelita from Code Lyoko and now it was time to go retrieve her iridium nuclear
reactor or whatever the hell that thing is
and after getting the reactor back to safety it was now time to deal with one
of the cringe twins at this point I had now ascended into full saitama and
turned the bandits into a bunch of used condoms I finished off Troy’s White
Knights with a little blend of my action skill and right mouse button and in no
time I finally got to Troy you know it’s kind of hard fighting Troy when he
literally looks like Channing Tatum’s asshole after the gym but the fight
honestly wasn’t too bad with my element tuned to fire he was susceptible and
vulnerable to a flurry of bad fisting jokes and the occasional action skill
with Troy dead that just meant two more boss fights and this run was over with
haste I stormed to necro to thinking I still don’t know how to say that word
and probably never will and from there I met ty Finn the very first vault hunter
he told me to take general taint out on a date and Wow
I really enjoyed my time with him but just like that I punched the final fart
right out of his chocolate tunnel and I was off to retrieve the final vault key
every other boss was finally dead and only one remained to play Chad pattycake
with my gear phenomenal my ego higher than it’s ever possibly been because I
recently got a text message from my crush my looks still a mixture between
90s Justin Timberlake and Vin Diesel I was now ready to end this fucking run
the final fight took me fifty minutes but I won’t lie I was able to do it in
one fight patience was the key to success during this fight the plan was
to say on the outer rings of God cringe Cyrene’s arena as I blasted her with a
little bit of that chi blast and the occasional grenade me getting up close
and personal was basically a death sentence
fortunately ads in her arena weren’t to AIDS and during deep
critical phases I was able to dish out a decent bit of damage
Cyrene was finally dead and although it came at the cost of my spacebar and
sanity the run was finally over this was the final chapter in my galactic dragon
dildo fisting adventure you can beat Borderlands 3 without guns I answered
this stupid question and documented it all so you sweet poops didn’t have to
and I hope you enjoyed yet another zany adventure if you liked what you saw here
go ahead and throw one of those scooby-doo fruit snacks at that like
button if you want to see more of the Lord’s work be sure to hit that sub
button for weekly updates on my mental health when this video is released a QA
also will be starting up for my bathtub cue a special so be sure to head to my
community tab and ask me anything and everything thank you guys so damn much
for your support to the diaper booty gang follow my socials if you haven’t
already and be sure to stay tuned for next week’s video can you stop a fat guy
from rolling down a hill to crush you with syrup

100 thoughts on “Can You Beat Borderlands 3 WITHOUT Guns?

  1. LMAO I didnt think you guys would take the dislike thing so seriously. I got a ton of comments saying that some of you obeyed and slapped that dislike button. Thanks for making me laugh out loud. I love you guys. So damn loyal. ❤ I was being a bid dumb dumb though, please dont dislike or susan will be mad.


    ALRIGHT WE HIT THE 50K HOLY DICKTURDS BOYS. Like this is actually insane. I can sort of officially say im a youtuber now. Wtf. Bathtub Q&A coming up towards the end of the month. I'll be putting up the post to ask me any and all questions on the community tab now! Ask me anything you naughty animals ❤ Seriously thank you guys so much for the support. And I am so grateful to have you all. You guys seriously give me the motivation to keep pushing and trust me I 10000% will ❤

    I am not streaming atm, but i will be at some point in the future so go follow me on twitch. We gunna be streaming these challenges and other shenanigans.
    I also have a twitter so hmu there too! @senza_tv
    Follow me on instagram:
    If you havent joined the discord already also be sure to join!

    See you cuties soon ❤

  2. i legit cryed when i herd "I got my boy marcus from halo 3 with me" god now i remember why i subbed to you😂😂😂

  3. Senza you sweet sweet dragon ass buttcheeck with handsome face please try to beat Borderlands 1 the goty without guns. I know this game is boring but I know your sexy body can handle it.

  4. "And just like that I punched the final fart right out of his chocolate tunnel"
    I probably laughed wayyy to hard at that, now my ribcages hurt. Worth the pain though lol… 😂😂😢

  5. 2:12 eating what looks like raw hot-dogs. Fact: Actually, it's important to always reheat hot dogs until they're steaming hot. Some ready-to-eat foods, such as hot dogs, can become contaminated with Listeria monocytogenes after they have been processed and packaged at the plant. so uh…yeah good luck with the gaming life, but be careful not to die from your snack. Although..I guess this helps fortify your restoration stat for life though. So..I suppose that's a positive benefit?

  6. 4:12 so how would you be able to get clap-trap his hat without a gun? Considering the fact that at least one of the dishes you need to destroy isn't accessible to take down without the use of a firearm at a long distance. I suppose a grenade 'might' be able to do it though – but you missed out on showing us how you did it though.

  7. Okay, WOW!!! I finally came across this piece of YouTuibe gold and I can't stop punching that like button! This was easily one of the funniest commentary vids I have ever seen. Gearbox should hire you to write the dialogue in one of their upcoming DLC. SUBSCRIBED!!!

  8. Bruh, I was really worried, I had to watch a different video in the middle of this one, because the fucking electronic popping made me think my 3 year old speakers may have been failing, fuck you for making great content that made me worry!

  9. bro your microphone is crackling really bad, especially when you get a bit louder or do the P- sound, thought it was my headphones but then i watched a different video and it was fine

  10. The 12 minutes i watched of this was amazing. However the remaining 7 minutes 45 seconds are full of sinful spoilers that should be packaged up in DAHL wrapping paper, because THEY'RE LITERAL TRASH

  11. 2:37 I was greeted with my favorite gamer g
    GIRL in all of Gaming, claptrap. HE gave me the echo-device😂😂😂

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