Articles

Can You Beat Borderlands 3 WITHOUT Any Gear?


Gear is what completes a Borderlands
experience the entire point of this glorious series is to pound your enemies
til they finish all over you exploding and a bunch of neat gear and weapons the
more you progress the better the gear gets which is needed for later more
challenging enemies what if we stripped ourselves of our gear and did the
opposite of what this game was all about today we will answer a question no sane
person has ever asked can you beat Borderlands 3 without using any gear no
one has ever asked this question because if they did they’d be a hentai area51
speedrunner which there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that baby whoa but
before we partake in this run that I know will be equivalent to literal boner
kryptonite let’s discuss a few rules gentle boys and the 5% of females that
watch my videos rule one I need to get naked and fast I know how much you guys
appreciate my Greek God stature so fortunately for you no gear will be
allowed whatsoever for this run that means guns class mods shields etc will
not be used we’re going to treat those items like cooties from the Rugrats
because that shit is icky rule 2 Borderlands 3 is a good game there are
actually good vehicles mounted turrets and barrels that could be turned into
projectiles which consequently will allow me to use them as improvised
weapons in my travels while we are on this subject I now may as well shut down
the same 5 people that comment on every video telling me to do the exact same
challenge on Borderlands the pre-sequel listen I won’t because if you didn’t
know there are two types of games out there the good ones and the pre-sequel
don’t worry folks I’ll be here all night baby
and now let’s saddle up boys will we be able to take down categorise but pluged
will the agonizer 9000 ruin my chances of actually getting this show on Disney
Channel grab your little hug fruit barrels and paw patrol marshal blankies
as Papa Snax approves something to the internet that literally no one cares
about let’s get to work our character is very important to us this run this will
most likely be our win condition so that means Amara obviously the best vault
hunter in the game will be our go to pick now that flak has been picked it is
time to get to work I understand that making builds in Borderlands 3 is a very
new concept I know people are out there still learning how to open those little
wax sticks with liquid sugar in them or how to wipe while sitting down let alone
the tedious task of making bill in Borderlands 3 hey guys borderland
slut 60 guys are coming at you with it so today we will skip all that good
stuff and show you what your first playthrough of Borderlands 3 should look
like firstly our character must be named I names flak after an absolutely
gorgeous and illustrious channel member that also so happens to be a person
cosplaying as plankton trying to steal my Krabby Patty secret formula but we
don’t have time for such shenanigans in claptraps peril of getting a salad
vacuum tossed by the Insane Clown Posse’s magnet I realize that the
selfless cute little robot experienced this pain so we didn’t have to but less
about our heroes let’s talk about the sensations / majority of this run our
weapon will be nothing but our fists these things here are not only capable
of bringing my enemies that sweet sweet skull face emoji but also disciplining
in mass quantity these fists were tinder matched with my enemies and they were
looking for more than just a fuck buddy now don’t be alarmed when you first
start this will all seem very overwhelming but eventually you’ll find
that these techniques you will learn will make the pornographic material on
turbo Fist my anus calm look trivial in comparison and that’s because it
absolutely is our goal this run is to become some sort of weird offspring
conjured from a threesome between one punch man’s very own Saitama brick and
the borderlands gaminggod jolts dude himself the beginning of this run is not
a difficult one so we won’t have to tap into this transformation just yet not
even 15 minutes into the challenge and we are immediately insulted by gearbox
when they forced me to pick up a shield in order to continue in my quest gearbox
assuming my need for a shield is absolutely tasteless and disgusting Shiv
should probably retire and change his name to shit because all that was needed
to take him down was a couple of well-timed barrel shoves it’s fine that
I miss everything it’s not like baby man over here is gonna do something about
with Shiv dead I achieved level 2 and that means that now the turns have
tabled Amara’s action skills will be my saving grace and condom to keep me safe
during this absolute fuck fest of a run face cast will be one of the
main sources of damage carrying me into the late game this will be my bread and
butter action skill to say the least allowing me to deal damage from afar and
trigger a couple of active skills but we’ll get into that later for those of
you curious owls out there no you can’t pull an Ezio Auditore on our
whay claptrap but hey just as I attempted to ask the hottest coolest guy
in my class a prom at least I tried Captain Underpants needed to be saved
and in the meantime I think this would be a perfect opportunity to tell you
guys that there will be a link in the description to every boss fight whether
you are a curious naysayer or just want to enjoy witnessing me fart shit and
sperm myself scared every boss fight the link will be below the road to
Underpants is a long and dark one for those of you unaware this video also has
a secret challenge tied to it that I unlocked in the main menu using this
cheat code from here on out I cannot use the words ass butt or butthole this will
be a hard one for thus ends a channel our hardest challenge yet if I pass this
challenge I get a glorious grand prize of nothing and if I lose you guys get a
sense of Keeley’s tendon reveal this very self-imposed challenge led me to
experiencing the most depressing and heart-rending experience a man of my
intellectual caliber which by the way is equivalent to my grandmother learning
how to use her iPhone has ever endured imagine going through a group of enemies
punching them and bringing them nothing but full fledged enemas of fists and
dirty sweaty palms but not being able to make a single overuse and za’darius joke
absolutely disgusting either way I made sure I had all their consent before
taking them to flavortown and I’m not going to lie my sensual confrontations
with these bandits was something else baby for this first planet expect some
simple spongebob battle for bikini bottom gameplay because it will all play
out as you would expect pressing right-click on an enemy guarantees their
certain death a couple of black dynamite bullhorn bitchslaps and this shit is
nothing but a cakewalk even though I enjoyed my time I was missing something
I know you sick little fucks it wasn’t rule 34 of Ellie it was a vehicle that
she gives to us although getting to it first will have me going through my
grandfather’s hemorrhoids and back this will all be worth it about 30 minutes
and a couple of farts later your boy now had a cool whip mouthpiece was on my
radar but I first needed to catch a quick episode of sensor does side-quests the children of cringe HQ stood before
me and it was time to divide a couple of cheeks by zero we had a small problem
though and that was that even after a couple of quests I was still under level
which was quite a big no-no seeing as I had no shield but I had to toughen up
smoked a couple of beers and get to work I won’t lie to you guys I died a decent
amount but mostly turned my enemies into origami with the fury of a thousand
Shaolin monks in that weird vault lady that oddly gives me a boner from Doctor
Strange my fist an ancient kung-fu Panda three techniques brought mouth turd
misery and absolute pain I was worried this boss fight would be difficult
without a shield but as long as you always keep moving
and occasionally hitting that boy with a ten-piece nugget and large dr. pepper
combo you can easily make it out of this one the enemy’s leading up to Lilith
were nothing but mincemeat in the scheme of things and paid with their blood
Skyrim Imperial Guard style after a quick revive which was awesome because I
rarely ever get to touch women we took to the skies just as invader zim did
when he was kicked off of his homeworld Rhys needed to be contacted on Promethea
and we were going to do just that but before we do so let’s discuss the plan
this run operation my wiener is getting cold and I think it just fell off is now
in full effect we have only one goal this run and that
is to make our merry way to the end of the game abiding by the rules that were
set at whatever cost Amara’s Greentree will be pumped full of
our thick skill points in order to make this run possible as her and her iron
fists love this tree the same way a priest loves a kid in a wheelchair that
was kind of fucked up switching between elemental fisting types will also be
important to trigger the weaknesses of our enemies this is our last training
mission before the Infinity stones are placed into the gauntlet as a mental
gymnast this run will allow me to focus on the more cognitive side of these
challenge runs and my ability to keep cool during the most stressful of
moments and for those curious yes I have masturbated with a glove on hey guys my name is Senza and 23 years
old and I’m addicted to making the bald man cry while wearing the power glove
alright guys that was a great game whoo it’s a close one listen yeah I’m gonna
go think of the trash I’ll be right back all right guys ever since senso was a
mere child he dreamt of destroyed getting Teresa’s watershed wasn’t
actually too difficult after demolishing all life that stood in my way of finding
Lorelei I got the info that she needed and I was able to unleash a hurricane on
the malla Wan soldiers who forgot to put up their shutters everything was going
neato mosquito until the Chad’s and Kyle’s also known as mini pyro Pete’s
showed up you see give a man some fire he’ll be warm for a day set a man on
fire and you’ll just warm him for the rest of his life I don’t know where I
was going with that but it’s not it kind of cool also fun fact for those that
want to get through this without committing seppuku you can actually sit
by the health vending machines and supply your dopamine addiction while
simultaneously pounding a bunch of dudes with dipshit e it saved
I was only level 10 I wasn’t going to stand a chance against my upcoming
enemies so I had to turn to role-playing as a Starbucks employee
unfortunately my peanut sized dingdong brain couldn’t remember all the coffee
recipes seriously I applaud any of you that have actually learned that elder
scroll of every coffee variation known to mankind my damage just wasn’t enough
because a boss at the end of this side quest was impossible to kill without
that super cool blue thing that sits above your health bar I thoroughly did
not enjoy his venti double mocha frappe a septic latte so I took the yell and
went off to find the insufferable Hawkeye that I would totally let kiss my
dad a bit of high-intensity cardio with a dash of weightlifting later I found
him but there was no time to celebrate because I got back room
Steen couched as a punishment for being an idiot and playing this game without
any gear and yes that is a verb this part was difficult but after all I am
the pioneer of being able to take pain zero was saved and that was rewarded
with the most useless thing I could have ever possibly been given this totally
shows how much of a great friend zero actually is because he should have known
that’s not what I wanted for Christmas Giga mind was a typical fight I couldn’t
hear him from the bottom of the leaderboard because that dudes fortnight
kd8 was totally weak just like his dick game Giga Kyle was dead and nearly an
instant due to the flames that engulfed my Barry punches although interestingly
enough he did ignore my firebending at one point but that didn’t matter because
after he died I was given my next quest from the doctor disrespect mustache
wannabe it looks like uber eats delivers on the planet of athena’s because I came
to deliver a nice nutritious meal of anime Dragon Ball Z finishing moves
speaking of deliveries I thank you guys for bearing with my content I know not
all jokes are delivered the way they should
especially the abortion ones but seriously thanks for sticking around
boys lots of dying was had here almost to the
point where I had the fight for your life Tex burned into my corneas for a
week as if I was looking into the Sun I beat the meats off of all of those
mallow on soldiers and then made it to captain taint this was my first real
challenges run and when my universe seemingly collapsed truant was definitely my first wall but
I was eventually able to make it past it calculated plays and just overall game
knowledge is what was needed just in case you weren’t perceptive enough I am
a scientific anomaly to the gaming world and I am quite sorry if you didn’t bring
a spare change of diapers after that gaming display I’ll also like to give a
quick shout out to this user here for finding this gloriousness the challenge
will be paused here so I can show you guys something quite interesting if you
down yourself while these monks watch you will be graced with the most
beautiful form of art the sky well and categor was a worry
that was present at the back of my mind but my corrosive fists should do the
trick the sky wall took me around 2 hours and basically had me micromanaging
like I was playing Starcraft switching my elements every two seconds to hit my
enemies weaknesses also the occasional hole-in-one from Tiger Woods helped out
immensely just a few Robo testicle collaterals later I was at category and
ready to bring him pains smothering Sonic the Hedgehog and the entire cast
of the Sonic series with my mud flaps would be more enjoyable this fight even
a mild case of domestic abuse between me and my right hand would be a little more
exciting than this AIDS fest cadigal Bolivar leveled me and I barely did any
damage to the damn thing consistency was all that was needed though this was just
another monotonous fight that had me occasionally spamming my action skills
nothing special but the plug of anus is dead I ventured off to partake in the
actual World War 3 the battle for Atlas HQ on the frontlines I witnessed many
lives lost for my very own safety but not even the bravery of such young men
could save this damsel in distress I’ll be honest the fight with categor wasn’t
that interesting and it was incredibly easy a couple of tasteless really
cringey 2007 firin my lazor memes and Kattegat one-stop ticket to the Shadow
Realm on my way to my very first vault beast I was met with something
incredibly heartbreaking two badass enemies decided that the Bandit life
wasn’t for them and took their very own lives jumping in front of a train
suicide is not the way out remember my friends you are worth so much more than
you actually know you are the ram-paige er the next Hokage that needed to be
dealt with was here and my egg rolls were ready for this beast without
shields em meant that one wrong step would mean an end to my very existence
in my days of making solo male LEGO building tutorials will be over just as
the fight with taint you must become one with movement moving faster than a mere
fart in the wind I danced around the arena every movement perfectly portrayed
as if I had this all choreographed this fight was great just like Chrono Trigger
the greatest JRPG of all time and the RAM pager was dead in one try the
audience cheered screaming my name and I finally did it but then I woke up from
my wet dream and realized it was time for the shittiest part of the game I was
not ready to spread this bad boys legs open and
into some sensational loving but I had to out of all the shit that we take in
our daily life this place just really isn’t my cup of faeces
but what definitely is though is when I deliver pizzas with my boy brick and
Tina servicing the motors of our enemies with my god hands has never been so easy
my damage at this point was that full jolts dude in half of say Tama I listen
ladies I know I know you ladies want a piece of snacks but this 180 pound hunk
of muscle isn’t interested in your advances I’m here for that insufferable
Thicke boy the man who’s built top-half pub g trihard and bottom half
executioner SMO to take out the warden all you need to do is slap his forehead
with a couple of corrosive punches and then kite him out afterwards with your
fire augment this fight was also quite easy but took me on an emotional roller
coaster to stop him from going God Super Saiyan and levelling up like he always
does I had to go all in tightening up my little bum I closed my eyes and prayed
pray that I would kill him before he were to transform my damage was barely
there but just enough I was able to kill him before he evolved into Charizard I
felt as though I was touched by an angel and no not angel Hernandez that weird
security guy in my apartment building an actual angel sent from heaven here to
see me succeed after holding bail ex’s hand through the down Jacob ship we met
Genevieve and literally laid her out within a couple of minutes my strength
at this point was immeasurable my skill points being pumped into that tree was
just a suppository of steroids for Amara a straight-up human bulldozer destroying
everything in my path no shield er grenade really mattered at
this point it was now time to meet clay and oh no this crusade has now
technically failed and my life is in shambles as we speak the super site
quest given by our man arthur morgan gives you a weapon that actually can’t
be removed from your inventory and this being a main quest meant that i had to
do it but as all the serious problems in my life i’ll just ignore this one and
hopefully it won’t come creeping back stronger than it was before accepting my
defeat i pushed my way through levelling up one hand and destruction the fight
with marvel’s very own ant-man was actually a lot harder than i expected
but I’m not really sure I was expecting anything other than dying in the first
place so it wasn’t actually that big of a surprise speaking of surprises let’s
get some F sin chat for the poor so-called boss gearbox decided to put
into this game she didn’t stand a chance against my fists that have now been
graded as a class a weapon of mass destruction by 14
different countries okay now that that’s out of the way let’s talk about the
festering pile of gerbil dick that is the grave Ward fight boys I almost threw
my towel up for this one the vanguard of justice your very own kpop superstar
Senza almost couldn’t take it my only means of damaging the grave ward was
with fucking face cast all I could do was a Kamehameha fart on the grave ward
that literally did about as much damage as a fart would realistically do in real
life this took me almost an hour in 30 minutes I literally sat in my chair
spamming F every 28 seconds and you can bet that when I missed my attack my
apartment hallway echoed that sailor mouth sound from Sponge Bob after losing
an hour and a half of my life I mean not like I was going to do anything much
better with it anyway the gray board was dead and this was a turning point the
marathon was nearly done but before I fought the agonizer I actually
documented a weird interaction dying during the quest where he retrieved
Donald Trump’s hot wheel allows you to randomly conjure the golden chariot in
all of my conjuration being at 100 without even knowing you can bet your
sweet ass that I was going to bring that shit back to Carnivora
and get a free shortcut as you would expect it didn’t work and not only was I
vastly disappointed with the fact that I was scammed out of a shortcut that I was
entitled to but now I need to give you guys an Achilles tendon reveal fuck Achilles tendon action right there baby
oh yeah the giant sex robot that was commissioned for use by Troy Calypso
needed to be destroyed though the thought of this fight really sent
trembles down my spine I somehow was able to pop off in the first try even
without the skill guardian angel I fortunately bested the agonizer 9000
without dying once which was quite a big surprise to me after spanking pain and
terror for turning their Barbie makeup head into a death machine
I was now only 3 bosses away from getting out of this secret lair of Hell
the Bible failed to warn me about now sit back and enjoy this therapeutic
experience as you watch many NPCs get deleted from the game attempting to stop
my havoc during the children of cringe HQ raid I was basically farming these
mob the fact that I had no shield almost
didn’t matter I felt like a max prestige Call of Duty player in a lobby with a
bunch of kids who just got the game for Christmas this shit was an
all-you-can-eat buffet cheap dollar store Ronnie Radke posed a
small threat but there ain’t nothing my fists can’t handle this Dark Souls type
beat of a fight involved a lot of dodging and a bit of persistence I’ll be
frank with you guys guardian angel was my saving graces fight and without it I
would have probably forced myself to eat an entire bag of tortilla chips
vertically but eventually I was able to convince a bank to foreclose his life
and finished Roy off for good terrine ran off and threatened to end Pandora
and our very existence which is a giant problem because I can’t let anything
happen to my precious v bucks general taint was not ready for the power that
rested inside my very punches with max level destruction there was no way he
could make it the fight was a massive failure at first almost nearing fallout
76 levels I put on a skill that basically charmed my enemies turning
them into my white knights for some reason I expected to be able to damage
them while they were attempting to give me kisses and staring at my tits but
unfortunately you cannot I decided to ditch that idea just like almost every
other idea that I have and get to work with Trotz chastity belt now removed all
it took was a couple of punches in order to take him out which then left me to my
final trial it was time to finally end this crusade and bring this victory
royale back home for the boys there seemed to be a slight chance of death
for today’s forecasts because tyene was about to get that knuckle meat sandwich
from recess without a doubt terrine was 100% going to hit me with the gray ward
treatment which basically meant that I can only damage her every so often by
only tactic here was to run around like a little bitch occasionally giving dumb
idiot a dose of my prescribed fists this was going to take me the full run time
length of infinity war at this point and not having a shield made this all the
more scarier on the Richter scale my damage easily equated to that of an ant
taking a shit so I barely even damaged the vile hentai abomination I was
basically playing mercy from overwatch constantly healing this thing every time
I took a swing but I had a dream baby and we were almost there after 50
minutes of excruciating anxiety pulsing through my very boner and giving me the
incredible need to shit which by the way I hate when my anxiety does that tyene
fell I had finally done it you can Borderlands 3 without any gear I
wouldn’t wish this challenge upon anyone but I went through this hell so you guys
didn’t have to if you enjoyed the video go ahead and swipe right on the like
button and if you like what I do here hit that sub button to join our crusade
I appreciate all the love and support recently and sincerely thank you to the
channel members that have joined to diaper booty gang made talos bless all
of you for being cute little rascals and be sure to follow my social Ziff you
haven’t already this will be the last borderlands 3 video before my powerglove
run see you guys in the next one

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *