Articles, Blog

Can You Beat Borderlands 2 WITHOUT Guns?


Borderlands 2 has everything it has guns
it has cars it has midgets I mean who doesn’t like
midgets it has being the godfather of looters
shooters this game has made us realize the boners that come from opening up a
loot chest and seeing that spicy spicy loot and it has also made us realize
something else that we really fuckin want guns with legs it’s so beautiful
what if we did what no sane person would ever think of can you beat Borderlands 2
without guns I know Borderlands is all about the
firepower baby that stuff is more abundant than my grandpa’s naughty stash
my mom never let me get close to but this run we won’t use a single firearm
to kill our enemies we will be going the other route let’s throw down some epic
rules for you epic gamers rule one I can only use grenades melee and my ultimate
ability this run if my ultimate involves me using a gun then that is a big Noddy
nono and I’m gonna get spanked I mean you know you know I kind of like that if
I got roll two relics and shields that do damage are allowed rule three the
starter pistol will be my currently equipted weapon since you can’t go and
bear in Borderlands I can only use this gun when I absolutely need to like
knocking down a ladder or shooting a fuse box but I can absolutely not shoot
or kill any enemies now that the rules have been set let’s get to work
gentlemen we got bread to obtain the run has finally started and you guys may be
thinking who will I pick this run maybe accident for his turret or
actually maybe gauge for that sweet sweet ass tenderizing mech don’t make me
laugh kids if you watch my videos you know exactly who we’re going for this
run what dude hey man if I’m trying to be Borderlands without shooting a single
gun which hunter should I pick I don’t know I did accident or gate Krieg all
right thanks dude no I said exit our gauge because Krieg is a great idea
thanks man bye no you I said act you see I feel like I connect with Krieg not
only does he make my nipples straight-up lactate but with his alt he can
literally clap and separate butt cheeks like a different kind of red see plus
the other vault hunters would be a little too easy I named him after a guy
with a super awesome really long name our journey started with me meeting a
cute little robot for the beginning of this run Mele is the only thing that
I’ll have I pushed through playing Chad pattycake with a couple of baddies and
enjoyed my time on Pandora the first mini boss was ahead and I was ready to
school his ass during this fight was when I realized that you could actually
melee in Last Stand something I didn’t know because who the fuck uses melee in
borderlands no you little bitch after clinching my ass cheeks tighter than a
hydraulic press I pushed forward clean house and met the man hunks or
hammerlock himself god damn he’s so fucking hot I would so let him kiss my
parents oh my god after getting claptraps I fixed running around
completing a few sidequest and using my pistol only once because I had to I
finally reached level 5 this was the whole reason I picked Krieg for this run
with him being forged in the fires of Mount clap ass itself I could now
finally get in tune with my primal side and bring hell to some booties on
Pandora his ultimate not only amplify is my melee damage but also has a ranged
attack this will definitely be my condom this run with my newfound ultimate it
was time to test my strength I turned to midge mom thinking that this was going
to be hotdogs in between butt cheeks easy but it actually turned into him
demolishing my ass trying to kill him with my alt and melee turned out to be
harder than I thought this game you you midget hey guys do to the joke in my
last video I am now be monetized this is a pretty big deal to me I need the money
to take care of my family so from now on we’re gonna be making for tonight
family-friendly content I got content lined up for the next week
of just three hour long tutorials with no commentary whatsoever
so please please guys guys guys got guys please don’t I got unnecessarily hyped
when i unlock the skill that gave me more melee damage for keeping my
ammunition on empty but then I realized it took two goddamn infinity wars to
empty my starter pistol so yeah I’m not doing that
I was now ready to bring claptrap to what was rightfully his surprisingly
boom and boom were a piece of cake and I can
you non-words to the goal at hand even though I died a lot getting up to that
ship I finally made it to my second mini-boss via captain Flint with my
Alton melee this run was going pretty good but as always let’s discuss the
plan operation Chad pattycake fisting buttholes is simple boys will go down
the middle tree reach around two swallows fuck Ville and before my mom
calls me home for dinner we pound anything in sight the middle tree
focuses on my alt which will give me fast region and more damage and that is
going to be my baby this run other than that I just got to enjoy being a
masochist for how much I’ll be dying now let’s get back to the schedule mom this
thing Flint’s ass was easier than I anticipated and your boy was off to the
mainland I should mention now while I kill a few
baddies to get this vehicle station working that this run vehicles can only
be used as transportation with a bit of vehicular manslaughter sprinkled in now
and then oh sorry about that oh I didn’t see you there man Oh in no time I made
it to sanctuary but of course like all things in life it wasn’t going to be
that easy so I went off to find a core regained power back to sanctuary and
then was told of the big bad fire Hawk this little dingleberry needed a
spanking and I was perfect for that job traveling on my way to the Hawks
location I enjoyed many deaths at this point this was where the game’s
difficulty started to ramp its way up Lilith and I proceeded to split some
booty cheeks in unison you see people do things to relieve stress some people
like to masturbate and doing that weird thing my sister does a knight or some
people like playing Krieg and smashing heads in like a dilapidated building I
got Lilith her steroids and this part was quite easy we made a pretty good
team but after the dirty work had been done it was time to go save Roland
before I could do that though I had a few side quests with my name on them
normally I hate doing side quests but I had my condom on and this was my
favorite part we get to see the woman that everyone obsesses over in the
borderlands community i mean god damn even I fantasize about her every now and
then Ellie my voluptuous princess fast forward a couple of side quests later to
catch up in levels and I was now ready to save the homey Roland my build was
looking pretty spicy and I was more than confident that this was going
to be easy-peasy okay I fucking hate this game at this point the run was
really grinding my gears even being at the same level as the mobs I still got
straight-up tiring Gaston I think we need to riot against gearbox boys
because the game was obviously tuned to be completed with guns melee builds are
in the absolute minority and I’m not gonna fucking stand for this hey hey
girl let me slap that at hey yo female come over here let me eventually after
may laying ulting and grenading through I did it I got to Roland’s captor and
was actually able to man mode that boss and slap him with a couple of axes I was
pleasantly surprised with how easy it was seeing as I had much trouble getting
here with Roland free we put our ass cheeks together back to back and
collabed on some of that robot dick when we were satisfied I went back to
sanctuary we reunited with the fam and for saving the squad they rewarded me
with doing some more fucking side quests whoa after getting a few levels in my V
key nearly being worn out from so much melee it was time to finally meet the
world’s most dangerous thirteen-year-old I took care of a few sussy boys with my
ultimate and then God blessed this game for being buggy because these buzzards
are paying to kill with my ranged attack I’d rather have a cactus catapulted into
my sphincter than doing this shit we set up Tina’s sadistic tea party and I
protected her while she took care of her business the fun and games were over
though the first boss battle was here and oh boy was I more than ready
fortunately before fighting well home I got the thing I needed most his run now
when I’m in last and I could run around with a couple six of dynamite and throw
them when I successfully kill someone with a said dynamite I will be instantly
revived god bless this skills boners because it
did me justice oh one more grenade no oh my god last hand come here you yeah yes after changing my underwear and
accomplishing this feat I returned to sanctuary with Wilhelm’s boner in hand
and I put it deep inside sanctuary I then quickly realized that I gave this
place an STD and handsome jack outplayed me fortunately Lilith just had to take
her steroids and you know pick up the fucking city and save her
everyone’s life after smoothly defending a beacon like the whipped cream on my
right butt cheek from an onslaught of Robo scum I realized connection with
sanctuary made haste to continue on with the story
and finally Oh guys I forgot I forgot to take my daily dose of fucking side
quests after what felt like too smelly wet farts it was time time to invade
handsome Jack’s a wildlife preserve running through the place was simple I
did a little bit of swing punching a little bit of axe fisting and a little
bit of dying I mean a lot of dying but unfortunately there was a problem
Jack took Mordecai’s blood wing and I wasn’t going to let that slide yes he’s
flying okay I’m gonna let it slide eventually blood wing allowed me to show
her what a real man feels like and then I quickly had an epiphany if blood wing
was a pain because of her flying in my ranged attacks bunker was going to be
sand paper to my nipples after killing blood wing and turning in
the quest I tried to continue on with the main story but won’t you look at
that eye tinder matched with a fucking side quest at this point I am probably
about five side-quests away from becoming mentally unstable and being
admitted into Arkham Asylum after catching up a couple of levels I went
off to find our man brick finding him was pretty easy and I enjoyed actually
fighting humanoids for a change I sliced those fuckers up and after I
found brick we two also collabed on some of that Robo cock we instantly became
besties and after helping him escape I returned to sanctuary and we devised a
plan to attack handsome Jack and take out his little pet I know I seemed
worried earlier but listen here boys bunker is now the least of my worries I
was feeling good my confidence was peaking you know I’m a really nice guy
like come on this was going to be easy and all I had to do was get it all I had
to do was get to bunk I just have to I okay fuck this I went off to go level up
a little bit and came back more than prepared Papa says ‘no has been training
for this his whole damn life after getting sodomized for about 40 minutes
straight i figured out that you can just run past the mobs here what the fuck man
my axe and grenades had bunkers butthole written right on them after a long long
and quite fucking annoying by the way battle with a few heart attacks mixed in
here and there i was able to chuck axes at bunkered to send her booty back
to where she came from bunker was my worst fear this run and I overcame the
impossible this unfortunately wasn’t over though it was time to rid angel of
her pain after fisting through a horde of AIDS and alting everything I could
and some Jack took something from me something I hold very dear roland was
dead and that shit hurt more than when my mom took my gameboy color away for
not cleaning my room he also took the seen girl but who cares at this point I
was so angry that I was lactating the next plan of action was to find out
where Jack was so I could make him pay for what he had done unfortunately the
enemies were getting stronger and my normal melee attacks were doing so
little damage that I was basically healing them so grenades and my ultimate
were my only saving grace at this point I followed Jack back to eridium blight
but of course I got cock-blocked so I took a little detour slapped a couple of
psychos with a sharp stick and then tried killing a couple of buzzards this
is where my hate for buzzards intensified tenfold no no oh my god
please let me hit you no you see I’m a good boy
I saved angel from being tortured I call my grandmother on her birthday every
year I have a subscription to a furry Cox anonymous and two out of three of
those are true by the way you already know one of them and hunt
I’m not gonna tell you the other one like come on but being a good boy didn’t
matter because when I tried continuing with the story my enemies literally just
had to look at me and I would die that basically meant I needed to do some more
after the side quest it was time to find out where the warrior was I blew up a
couple of pipes slapped a couple of enemies along the way and ran into a
little cutie named Saturn you can bet that sweet pumpkin pie ass of yours that
I totally fought him and it was easy I got lucky inside the station downloaded
the warrior’s whereabouts on my PDA and now it was time to go hunt down Jack and
the warrior this was finally it I was nearing the end of this playthrough and
I was beyond hype to finish this hellhole I was ready to spank this
warrior and call this run done the warriors level 32 so this shouldn’t be
all that bad I ran past the constructor tussled with handsome Jack and really
gave it to him good the warrior was up next and there was no turning back at the
point I’m here till I kill this bad boy I’m a little underleveled but I had to
deal with it because there was no way in hell I was going back and doing more
fucking side quests alright I got the fucking tactic I’m gonna sit back here after coming out of the hyperbolic
chamber I was more ready than Goku I was level 33 one level higher than this
fucker and it was time to show him true pain fortunately I unlocked the final
skill in my skill tree an operation Chad pattycake fists butthole was completed
my ultimate was now three times more powerful and with the fury of a thousand
fedora wearing neck beards that just got rejected by their love
I killed the warrior with only my altar ranged attack and grenades made diaper
booty bless us all I tried going out in style by 360 no-scope in handsome jack
but it failed miserably that’s probably why I was kicked out of my quickscoping
clan but the run was finally done it took a while and many many headaches but
you can be Borderlands 2 without guns thank you guys for watching and I hope
you enjoyed the video you guys are little naughty heads and I absolutely
loved it at 5 K we will do another giveaway and maybe even something
special if you enjoyed the borderlands video and want to see more let me know
in the comments below and join our discord if you haven’t already thank you
all for being perfect and be sure to stay tuned for next week’s video can you
beat an ass with a carton of eggs

25 thoughts on “Can You Beat Borderlands 2 WITHOUT Guns?

  1. Btw, not using or mentioning Zero was on purpose. I know it could easily be done with him 🙂 Meat bicycling is better ❤

    Boys the support recently has been overwhelming! I cant believe how fast we are growing ❤ I wanted to try a different game this week, and I hope you guys dont mind it! Borderlands is my favorite series, and I plan to make videos on Borderlands 3 if that is possible and you guys are okay with it! Shout out to Cristian for helping me with the Metal Gear Codec call! Follow his insta @sanxiety! At 5k subs, you can bet that apple pie looking ass of yours we will do a give away, so stay tuned

    And if you guys haven't already, join the discord: https://discord.gg/Hr8yhYb

    And follow me on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/senza_yt/

    See ya boys next video ❤

  2. Technically you didn't succeed, the damage from throwing krieg's buzzaxe uses the damage of an at level bandit pistol, so therefore you are using a bandit pistol.

  3. Just saying you could have farmed the enemies before the fuse box in frostbite crevice to level up and be able to unlock buzz axe rampage. That or you could go to digistruct peak and than kill mr bones in tiny tina DLC to unlock your ability and throw buzz axes at the fusebox

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *