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Brewstew – Toy Guns

I had a weird obsession with.. I had a weird obsession with..
with GUNS when I was a kid I loved GUNS! In second grade I would draw like.. Every single gun in GoldenEye64 in my notebook Just scare the shit out of all my teachers “Uhm, why don’t you try drawing
something nice, like a rainbow or a bunny rabbit?” ‘Yeah, I’ll draw a fuckin’ bunny rabbit!’ ‘I’ll draw a goddamn bunny rabbit with a ‘I’ll draw a goddamn bunny rabbit with a
SWEET-ASS AK-47!’ ‘What do you think about that?’ ‘Yeah, nice try, lady! I’m fuckin’ gun crazy, okay?!’ I got a gun lunchbox I got gun pyjamas I got fuckin’ Gun toothpaste Now, along with all that stuff
I had a complete armory of toy guns! But my friend David, he had
the best toy gun collection I’ve ever seen in my life! He had fuckin’ metal ones that were all lifelike! With the fuckin’ serial number filed off of them And at the other end of the spectrum
was my friend Michael Who had the shittiest guns knows to man He’d have.. like a.. broken squirt gun Or a fuckin’ eavestrough A fuckin’ stick in the shape of a gun
that was his favourite It wasn’t his fault though, he had a stepdad So all of his family’s money
went towards Marlboro reds Or.. Natty Light But anyways what we would do with all these toy guns Is we would play a game, called Guns You might’ve called it Cops & Robbers
or Cowboys & Indians We just called it fuckin’ Guns! Everybody would pick their own character “Okay, I’m gonna be James Bond!” “I’m gonna be Walker Texas Ranger!” “I’m gonna be Scorpion from Mortal Kombat” “Well, you can’t be fuckin’ Scorpion from Mortal Kombat!” “He’s a fuckin’ ninja, Michael!
That doesn’t make any sense!” “I’m gonna be.. Bill Goldberg!” “Bill Goldberg is a fuckin’ wrestler!..
Fuck it, be Bill Goldberg, I don’t care!” And after that I’d make up a story,
that would go along with our characters “Okay, I’m gonna be the grizzled fuckin’ veteran cop..” “.. That’s had enough and he’s about to retire” “You’d be the rookie with a big chip on his shoulder” “And you be the serial rapist!” “Just.. RAPE RAPE RAPE all day long!” And we’d just run around in the neighbour’s yard,
shooting at each other, fuckin’ screamin’ shit “GET HIM! GET THE RAPER! GET THE RAPER!” While the neighbours peeking out of their windows And we all would make our own noises
for our guns when we’d shoot them *BANG-BANG!* *BOOM-BOOM* *Fuckin’ fully automatic eavestrough m4a1* And that’s how we’d play all day
we never knew when it would end But I can tell you how it would end every time “I fuckin’ shot you Michael!” “NO YOU DIDENT!” “I SHOT YOU!” – [Michael] No-oh, no! you missed!
– [David] Lay down, I shot you in the head! – [Michael] You missed, you weren’t even close to me!
– [David] Lay down! – [Michael] THAT DOESN’T COUNT!
– [David] I FUCKIN’ SHOT YOU GOD DAMN IT! – [Michael] You missed, you totally missed me! – [Michael] Son of a bitch! *WHOOSH-THWACK!* *Child crying* Eh, fuck him!
Let’s go play Sega Genesis!

100 thoughts on “Brewstew – Toy Guns

  1. Rape rape rape all day long πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  2. Bro I swear we had the exact same childhood your videos summarize the entire way I grew up love them and keep them coming!

  3. Dude I swear I thought I was the only one who always wanted to be walker texas ranger lol, I’d always choose a revolver or some silver gun and wore a cowboy hat lol

  4. So in 5th grade I tried to impress some girls. So I'm like, I could draw shit, and I thought I was genius, I'd be rolling in pussy in like 5 minutes. So I drew stuff, except it was only guns. So after a few months I wondered why I wasn't getting any girls, now I'm a junior in high school and realized, of course no one wanted to date me, they thought I was gonna be the next school shooter and thank God I didn't get suspended, cause one look in that note book would definitely set off some alarms.

  5. Dont worry Brewstew, Im gun crazy except i dont have toy guns. I have real guns. I got 3 guns sitting behind me in my bedroom. Im a hunter so it sorta comes with the job.

  6. Petition to get brewstew to make a diss track on the all Storytime Animators he can get his stick figure hands on.

  7. When I played guns, it was always with kids way older then me. We also always played on the same team, and basically just planned out how to raid bunkers without getting shot. I was like 8, my friends were like 11, and 15. The older one was actually one of the cooler people I've met.

    I had sexual experiences as a kid, but it was always with literal adults (30+), or children my own age (8.) So I know your first instinct when hearing about a 15 year old who would play army ALL DAY with an 8 & 11 year old is, "what a creep!" but he was actually one of the coolest older people I knew. It was around 1999, he was the first person to introduce me to D&D, forever cementing him as a badass in my life story. He also was old enough to know how to do shit. Or like, get shit. Like, if we needed something, we could ride bikes like a mile away to a store because he had money, and the ability to navigate a city, and fuckin' read store signs and what-not.

    Moral of the story, get friends almost twice your age. I realize this is almost impossible, because 80% of them want to touch your no-no place, but if you pull it off with they will improve your playtime immensely. The trick is to find a social outcast with no friends, but one who's only an outcast because he's awkward, or got a stutter or some shit. Not because he's a creepy perv. I promise, if he's like best friend status (aka hang out for hours every day) he will teach you life lessons, and make you seem mature to your peers.

  8. Legit drew a grenade in school back in the first grade because I liked call of duty, got in major trouble, suspended for 2 days, and was forced to draw a rainbow and butterfly… I think they went too far with the suspension, I once got suspended by that same school for HAVING A FUCKIN TOY SOLDIER IN MY POCKET

  9. Bang betch Michelle is so stupid 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣😎😎😎😎😎

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